Oh The Places We Have Been (And Wish We Hadn’t!)

Oh the places we have been this year. From Russia, to North Korea to Charlottesville to Jerusalem to Alabama. Oh, the people we have had to deal with. From Putin, to Kim Jung-un, to White Supremacists, to Moore and Papadopoulos, Bannon and Conway. All of this, courtesy of the turbulent  and disturbed world of the Orange Haired Man in the oval office. The Don is truly great at one thing: He has created the greatest reality TV show ever!

With this in mind, I thought it would be fun to create a Dr. Seuss-like journey through the alphabet to commemorate this extraordinary time. So here goes.

A crooked lawman named Arpaio

illegally rounded up the brown,

but rather than going to prison

he was  pardoned by an Orange haired man with a ridiculous frown.

Believe me. Believe me, such a Beautiful thing to see,

said the Orange haired man, with the Comb -over, while firing James Comey.

 Complicity and Collusion, Complicity and Collusion

but the orange haired man scoffed and retorted conspiracy… delusion.

A Dystopian vision the “Big Macher” declared,

Only I can fix it, he dared and dared.

Closing our borders will make us great,

DACA’s brown people will face an uncertain fate.

Round’em up Arpaio,, round’em up soon, the law doesn’t matter, railed the orange haired baboon.

A long came a chief of the E.P..A  named Pruitt,

who did everything he could to undo it.

Climate Change is a hoax is what he had to say,

so he gave permission to increase Emissions and shout yippee ki yay.

 

The Flynn Flam man was a foreign agent,

who sang a Russian lull-a-lie to the F.B.I.,

That’s outrageous, he was a good man not a spy.

“Fake news”, Fake news,” the orange haired baboon decried.

There once was a man named Gorsuch,

Thought wise but views women’s rights as horse shit,

Conservative he is, oh mamma mia,

He could prove worse than Antonin Scalia.

Comatose Ben, Comatose Ben Carson,

the greatest dud ever seen by H.U.D.

Outdone by Huckster Huckabee

who is denser than Elmer Fudd.

Incompetence ruled, Insult thrived

Mexicans are rapists and Frederick Douglass is still alive.

Incompetence ruled, Insults thrived,

Haitians all have AIDS and Climate Change is just jive.

Round’em up Arpaio round’em up soon, the law doesn’t matter, railed the orange haired baboon

Oh Jared, oh Jared, you were supposed to do it all,

broker Middle East Peace, a back channel to Russia to install,

After all the fanfare of you growing so tall,

Turns out you are just an empty suit and nothing at all.

Kellyanne, Kellyanne, Kellyanne (K.K.K.), the queen of alternative facts,

you lied so much to get The Don back on track.

But no matter how you tried to make things seem like they were not,

You couldn’t disappear those meetings with Kislyak.

You’re all such Losers yelled the orange haired man,

I had more votes, passed more bills than anyone in the land,

People Love, Love, Love me, I set them on fire,

Such suckers they are as I am a psychopathic Liar.

We learned that Moore was less,

The pedophile defeat was such a relief

But when will Melania, say Me Too

to those little hands of the Predator-in Chief  

The Little Rocket Man harrumphed.

The Orange haired man roared.

When it comes to North Korea

we risk Nuclear war.

 Oh, OMFG, was our democracy blunted.

The courts, the press, the constitution confronted.

What an assault, what an Outrage, what an affront,

by an Orange haired man who is emotionally stunted!

Putin and the Russians

Paulie Manafortie, the Pop man, too

When they finish singing to Mueller

The orange haired man will be singing the blues.

There is no there, there,

His views are Quixotic,

The one thing we can be sure of,

his wish to be despotic.

Round’em up Arpaio, round’em up soon, the law doesn’t matter, railed the orange haired baboon.

Repeal and Replace, Repeal and Replace,

The Don had a pie smashed in his face.

Russians in bed with Don Jr and Rex,

Oh that dossier, The Don, peeing and sex.

Sessions refusal, no Russia for him,

Scaramouch lost approval for being a douche,

Stevie Bannon, the dismantler, prince of the dark,

has lost his luster and become a lark.

The Trump Tax plan rocks for the middle class,

$18 per pay check, maybe a half a tank of gas?

Don’t worry that most will go to the rich,

Cause for the poor in Trumpland life is a bitch.

Our embassy in Jerusalem, you chose to defy,

We will take all our money and say goodbye.

The U.N. is nothing, without us it will die.

America first-who the fuck cares about allies.

Very, Very, Very,

Vlad, Vlad, Vlad,

There is no collusion with Russia

Putin ain’t so bad.

The Wall will be so special.

The Wall be so great.

No more drug dealers and rapists

will come to America to spew hate.

Round’em up Arpaio, round’em up soon, the law doesn’t matter, railed the orange haired baboon.

I so made X–Mas better

For Xenophobes in the land,

Who cares about Jews, Muslims and Buddhists,

Jesus is my man!

What a Year, what a Year, scandals for the ages,

we need look no further than those dossier pages.

The lies and lies of the Orange Haired Man persist,

which emboldens, we the people, to stand up and resist.

Resist we must, resist we will,

we must battle till the end.

But for now I will bid you  good night

as we need to restore ourselves to win the fight.

ZZZZZZZZZ