The Tale of Two Viruses: Part 22

This week, the wannabe dictator, King Virus, took us one step closer toward fascism. In Germany, those nostalgic for the Third Reich, watch in envy.

Now in America, coming to a city near you, you can hob-nob with unidentified para- military: Just don’t get too close to the strange creatures as they, like the skunks they are, have a tendency to spray, in their case, tear gas.

Even the mayor of Portland got a dose of tear gas. And in a new version of a band of brothers, we now have a band of mothers linking arms trying to protect protesters from The Don’s goons. Turns out mothers have little standing, as they too were tear gassed.

The Don is using his extraordinary memory (more about his prowess in this area later) of the Nixon “Law and Order” playbook to sow discord. Sending in his unidentified goons agitates protesters and he can beam the chaos back to the suburbs to try to convince people that he alone can keep them safe from a catastrophic fate. If only he had used his energy to deal with the real catastrophe of the pandemic, instead of concocting one to distract from his failure to do so, maybe we would not be pitied by the rest of the world. Maybe less people would be dying; maybe schools could open safely; maybe we wouldn’t have to shut down again; maybe the economy would be on a steady path to recovery.

As the virus continues to rage and reach record levels, creating disastrous consequences for Arizona, Texas and California (not to mention rising numbers in 30 states!), The Don has donned his faux scripted version self as he looks to get even greater ratings for the 2^nd season of “The Task Force.”

Can you imagine how it smarted to admit to the viewers that “it was going to get worse before it got better?” Imagine the temper tantrum he had with his staff when they implored him to say something that resembled the truth because his poll numbers were plummeting- nearly 60 percent of Americans disapproved of his leadership on the pandemic. Despite his marvelous memory, I wonder how many times he had to practice those words to overcome the cognitive dissonance.

Truth be told, I am not convinced he said those words. It meant that something went wrong. Admitting that things aren’t what he imagines them to be is not in his playbook.  I think it was a ventriloquist behind the stage. That prevents him from any ownership because he didn’t actually say it. The utterance of those words was unbearable; it was only a matter of time that he once again stated his true feelings by reiterating that testing is just so dumb and that the virus was just going to disappear.

So let’s get to that marvelous memory. Only The Don would think it was a good idea to boast about a test he took to rule out dementia. After commending himself for recognizing an elephant, he rapt poetically about his prodigious memory.

“Like a memory question. It’s, like, you’ll go: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. So they say, ‘Could you repeat that?’ So I said, ‘Yeah. It’s: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.’”

“‘OK, that’s very good. If you get it in order you get extra points,’” Mr. Trump said a doctor told him. “OK, now he’s asking you other questions, other questions, and then, 10 minutes, 15, 20 minutes later they say, ‘Remember that first question — not the first — but the 10th question? Give us that again. Can you do that again?’”

“And you go: ‘Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV,’” Mr. Trump said. “If you get it in order, you get extra points.”

“They said nobody gets it in order,” Mr. Trump said. “It’s actually not that easy, but for me, it was easy. And that’s not an easy question. In other words, they ask it to you, they give you five names and you have to repeat ’em. And that’s OK. If you repeat ’em out of order, it’s OK, but, you know, it’s not as good. But when you go back about 20, 25 minutes later and they say go back to that — they don’t tell you this — ‘Go back to that question and repeat ’em, can you do it?’ And you go: ‘Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.’

“They say, ‘That’s amazing. How did you do that?’” Mr. Trump continued. “I do it because I have, like, a good memory, because I’m cognitively there.”

Aren’t you just speechless? How did we get someone so brilliant to be our leader? But he didn’t tell us the results of the association test they use with these words. This test has you say what comes to mind when you hear a word.

Person: “I am the greatest person alive.”

Woman: “That’s easy. They are easy and I can get them to do anything I want.”

Man: “I am the greatest man on earth.”

Camera: “It never takes its eye off me.”

TV: “This presidency is the greatest TV show ever.”

The Don: How did I do?

Tester: Mary Trump is right! You are an unadulterated narcissist! And I take issue with you being “cognitively there” as your delusions of grandeur suggest that is impossible. To be “cognitively there” requires being in touch with reality. If you were in touch with reality you wouldn’t have denied that there was a pandemic raging in this country.