I know I said goodbye, but I just couldn’t stay away. Though The Don, for now, is banished and Twitterless in Mar-a-Lago, he still is the primary power broker in the feckless Republican party. Though I am living less inside a Trumpian pinball machine, lurching from outrage to outrage, I am still living in a world of Republican offal that fills me with bile. The thing about bile, is that if you store too much it makes you sick, and frankly- I could do without that. So thank you for letting me share some of my bile with you.
But there is hope in America. We have a president who is getting things done. 50% of Americans have received at least one shot of the vaccine, and 31% are fully vaccinated.
We have a president that doesn’t insult people or suggest foreign policy on Twitter.
We have a president who is committed to tackling economic inequality and acknowledges institutional racism.
We have a president who has proposed bold initiatives in the battle to change the devastating course and impact of climate change.
We have a president who is proposing a real infrastructure bill, which will create millions of jobs, fix our dilapidated roads and bridges, expand broadband throughout the country, and address issues of childcare.
We have a president that believes in democracy. Now how strange is that?
There is light at the end of the tunnel of despair that we have all been living in this past year.
But all light is not the same. Remember ultraviolet light?
You know that stuff you can get inside the body and zap the hell out of the virus to stop it dead in its tracks? Mix a little Clorox in there, and abracadabra, 1, 2, 3 goodbye Coronavirus. That light?
Remember Deborah Birx, sitting there sheepishly, saying nothing, as The Don waxed on about the beauty of these treatments. (Just weeks before, Birx gave credibility to this dangerously delusional man by telling the nation that the Don was a smart dude who did a deep dive into the data.)
Well we just passed the one-year anniversary of that event!
By that point, 50,000 had already died. More than 500,000 more have died since then. How did the data man perform, Dr. Birx? Did he just forget to add three zeros in his calculations? Did his disregard of social distancing and masks throw the numbers off? Did his disregard for human life fuck up his calculations?
The Prince of Darkness’s denial and refusal to deal with reality, coupled with the complicity of those charged to protect us and give us the truth, led to what I have called The Genocide of Neglect.
The pain and suffering this caused is immeasurable. The narcissism and idiocy of the man charged with leading us out of this devastation pushed us further into it. It’s like a general telling his troops to go into enemy territory without a plan of action. Imagine the general saying:
General: Go forth, and let the light be your guide.
Soldier: But general, it’s certain death for us all.
General: Just follow the light and all will be well.
Soldier: Are you leading us into battle, sir?
General: Umm, wish I could, but I have a golf game set up. Remember, the light will be with you.
Soldier: You mean “The force will be with you.”
After watching the ultraviolet news conference rewind, I had a nightmare. Think “Handmaid’s Tale” with Mr. Clean as the top dog.
In the dream, Mr. Clean is making a speech from his golf course.
“Today is a great day in America. We have cure for the Coronavirus. Frankly, vaccine roll out has been a real pain in the ass and most of MAGA world ain’t rolling up their sleeves, risking damage to their tattoos for nobody. They are the real Americans.
So what are we doing about it? Dr. Birx, isn’t this the coolest thing ever? Today I am announcing we will be opening up sun tanning salons across America. For anyone who has symptoms or just tested positive, this is for you. Pop-up salons will appear on every corner where the people, rather than getting a shot in the arm, can get a suntan while the coronavirus is being eradicated in your body. Talk about two-for-one deals! The initiative is called: “Shine a Light on America.” Isn’t this amazing, MAGA people? Not only will you stay healthy, but you can get that orange glow and look just like me. And you can have all this for the unbelievably low introductory membership offer of $39.95. This offer includes three ultra-violet treatments, a free MAGA hat, and- wait, wait, wait- a bottle of my new cleansing drink Trumlox, which is three times more potent that any Clorox product. Just think, after a half hour of luxurious tanning, a cool drink to make sure that whatever the light doesn’t get, Trumlox will. But you gotta act now because this is a one-time offer.
I am also announcing some changes in the distribution and delivery of the vaccine. As of today the following changes apply:
In homage to the beautiful new voting laws being enacted across the country, which will ensure that no election is ever stolen again, I am removing 3 out of 4 vaccine sites from every city. Also, those who voted for me will have priority for receiving the vaccine. Who needs voter suppression when you can just eradicate the voter? HA! Ha! Just joking. God, you all take me so seriously. Can’t you tell when I am being sarcastic?
Yes, that was my nightmare. But honestly, if The Don had won (remember, in the battleground states it was so close, and 77 million people did vote for him despite how he practically destroyed the country!). What kind of real nightmare would we be living in now?
And though there is light at the end of the tunnel, darkness, in the form of the Republican Party, looms everywhere. The very essence of our democracy is challenged everyday by a soulless, power hungry, obstructionist bunch of scoundrels who deny science, talk about the January 6th insurrection as if it were an unruly picnic that broke out into a food fight. 50% of Republicans still believe the election was not legitimate and the assault on voting rights and the encouragement of a white supremacist narrative is front and center. The dog whistle has morphed into a bull horn. The Republicans need to be called out for the vile offal they are. To do justice to the G.O.P’s vileness, I have renamed the Grand Old Party, the Grand Offal Party.
Umm, now that I think about it, that’s a great name for a new blog!
I’ll very soon be hard at work getting a new website set up to host these new articles; so in the meantime, please feel free to sign up to be notified when it goes live:
So if you you enjoyed OMFG, I hope you continue the journey with me. The Don may be gone (for now), but the lies carry on, and the siege against decency and democracy continues.