Tale of Two Viruses: Part 30

We are rapidly approaching 200,000 deaths from the coronavirus.

According to The Don, we are “doing really, really great”. After all, we could have had millions of deaths. Now is that success, or what?

According to rumors, The Don is constantly lamenting to his staff: “Look at the life-saving we are doing. If you do the math we are like at least 1,800,000 ahead. That’s a lot of living people that owe their life to me. So many alive, just so many. Do you know it takes 11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds to count to a million if you say a number every second? So probably you are not going to do it that fast, I mean continuously, but I think I could probably count it that way because I can do things no one else can do. I can count like no other. I won awards for counting. And just think, I could break the Guinness book of World records in consecutive hours watching Fox News while I do it!

And look at the stock market. I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t want to vote for me. But that’s ok. At least most of the deaths are in the right places-you know, in the blue states. Look at this graph.

Did I mention how great we are doing, how many lives we’ve saved?

If you ask me, it’s a conspiracy. The governors of these states are killing people so I will look bad. Isn’t that just so cruel. How cruel can you get? I don’t understand how these blue governors can be so cruel? No empathy, no empathy.

And the CDC, I could wring that Red nose Redfield’s neck. I’m up here saying there is going to be a vaccine before the election, and he is not reading the memos and telling people it won’t be until the 3rd quarter next year that we have it for most Americans.

Then he’s back with the mask thing. We’ve been through this so many times.  Saying things like: “I might even go so far as to say that this face mask is more guaranteed to protect me against covid then the vaccine”.

How do you think it makes me look having my amazing rallies with no masks and social distancing? Maybe I should call Vlad up and see if he can get one of his agents to suffocate him with one of his own masks.

And who is this Troye woman. Never heard about her. Says she was at task force meetings. Just another angry disgruntled employee who couldn’t handle the heat. So many disloyal, so many. You give these people opportunity, take them from nowhere to give them a chance and they are so ungrateful. Just like most of the people from the blues states. We have done such an amazing job on this China virus. No one has the numbers we have. Should have had 2 million die, and only have 200,000. That’s a savings of 1,800,000. If I told you when you invested in a stock that was in a free-fall that you only lost 200,000k on your 2 million investment, you would be licking my shoe. And that Troye woman says she will vote for that senile sleepy Joe.

And can you believe she says she recalled me, saying during a task force meeting that: “Maybe this COVID thing is a good thing. I don’t like shaking hands with people. I don’t have to shake hands with these disgusting people”?

At first, when I heard that I laughed, being a germaphobe and all. Could you ever imagine me, the man who loves, loves, loves everyone, saying something as awful as that? Her saying that completely invalidates everything else, as no one believes I could say that. I am a man of great empathy. Tremendous empathy, empathy like you’ve never seen. No human has more empathy than me.

And speaking of empathy. I mean isn’t it a shame about old Ruth. But between me and you it’s about time she kicked the bucket. And you know she wasn’t so nice to me. Very unprofessional. I was all ready to announce my next Supreme Court Justice pick but Ivanka said I should wait a few days. It is hard. I am bursting at the seams. It’s only empathy that is holding me back. But all I want to say to the Evangelicals out there is that Roe v Wade is history.

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