The Tale of Two Viruses: Part 25

Biden/Harris. It has a nice ring to it. The first woman of color on a presidential ticket. Only took 250 years!  Still no black woman has ever been governor, and there have been only 2 black women senators in our history.  I say let this be the beginning of a transformation of the color of American politics.

But the gloves are off; the attacks have begun. Kamala is not a “real” black American; she was born to immigrant parents, so she can’t run for president: The rebirth of Birtherism! She is nasty and a very, very, very angry woman. And then we have the more fringe craziness. She is part of Pizzagate (you know, the Clinton Sex ring operation!) and is Jusse Smollett’s aunt and helped set up his fake attack.

We have seen this playbook before, and will hear it over and over again until the last ballot is counted. But will the last ballot be counted? Not if The Don has his way. All of us should be worried as the scorched earth man will stop at nothing to win, including messing with the mail.

You have got to take your hat off to King Virus’ transparency. Yes, I know he won’t turn over his taxes. Yes, I know he would not turn over documents during the Russia probe and would not let anyone from his administration speak to congress and the list goes on. But he did tell us he was a sexual predator during the infamous Access Hollywood tape. He did ask Wiki Leaks to dump the dirt on Hillary Clinton. He did tell us in Helsinki that he was beholden to Putin and trusted him more than his own intelligence agencies. And now he has done it again. He brazenly declared that he was messing with the post office to enhance his chances of winning the election.

“They need that money in order to have the post office work so it can take all of these millions and millions of ballots. If they don’t get those two items, that means you can’t have universal mail-in voting because they’re not equipped to have it.”

“If we don’t make a deal, that means they don’t get the money. That means they can’t have universal mail-in voting, they just can’t have it.”

Like William, Lower the Barr, who undermines the rule of law he is charged to protect, his recently appointed Post Master General, Louis DeJoy, is undermining the integrity of the USPS by slowing down the mail.

When asked by a reporter why he thinks this is a good idea, Mr. DeJoy supposedly said: “Slowing things down is good for the soul. Like that old song “Feeling Groovy.” Slow down, you’re going too fast, got to make the morning last.”

Reporter: What’s your strategy for this?

DeJoy: Well, pretty simple. Get rid of a bunch of mail sorters. Take some mailboxes off the streets.

Reporter: Wow, very clever. Any other plans.

DeJoy: Flatten tires on mail trucks. Push a few off bridges. Blow a few up Beirut style. You know that kind of stuff.

Reporter: When do you do this kind of stuff, 3:00 in the morning?

DeJoy: Oh no that would be too suspicious. We just do it in plain site because then it looks like everyday business.

Reporter: How so?

DeJoy: Well, if you are watching someone take a mailbox off a street and put it in to a truck you probably would think that there must be a problem with the mailbox, right? I mean who would do something so crazy as to remove mailboxes for no reason. See what I mean?

OMFG-TRUMP-Mailbox-Removal.jpg

Reporter: Simply genius.

DeJoy: Nice to be appreciated.

Reporter: Any other tactics down the road?

DeJoy; Well, if necessary, breaking some legs of mail carriers. You know the president knows a lot of thugs, mafia types, he can call on. Did a lot of work with those wise guys in the 70’s and 80’s. Well, that is before they all went to prison on RICO charges.

Reporter: Back in the day when Rudy G. was a hero. Boy have things changed.

wild turkey, marblehead, Ma, postal worker, mail man, mail carrier, afraid, scared, NATHAN FRIED-LIPSKI, Nathan Fried-Lipski photography

DeJoy: Rudy still is a hero. In fact, he’s helping us with our operation in New York.

Reporter: Breaking legs?

DeJoy: Let’s just say he’s helping us.

Reporter: Don’t you think the American people might be upset that the post office is being compromised?

DeJoy: The American people are too busy to notice, as they are dealing with the pandemic, standing for hours on food lines. Protesting on the streets about silly things like “Black Lives Matter.”

Reporter: What about the fact that millions of Americans get their prescriptions through the mail, and slowing the mail could have life or death consequences?

DeJoy: Um, hadn’t thought about that. Well, dying of Covid, dying from not getting your drugs. Pick your poison.

Reporter: Do you feel there is something wrong in making it more difficult for people to vote?

DeJoy: I am not doing that. I am actually an American hero as I am protecting the electorate by minimize voter fraud.

Reporter: Certainly an interesting spin.

DeJoy; No spin, no spin.

Reporter: Hey, you just sounded like the president. You know how he loves to repeat words like: no puppet, no puppet.

DeJoy: Spend enough time with someone you pick up some of their mannerisms.

Reporter: I can see that. Just checking, but were you engaged in criminal activity before this job, or is it just one of his mannerisms you’ve picked up?

DeJoy: What?

Reporter: Well, messing with the mail is a federal crime. It’s actually in the constitution.

DeJoy: I resent you intimating that I am doing something illegal. As I have already told you, I am protecting the integrity of our elections.

Reporter: Do you know that an Inspector General overseeing the Post Office is looking in to your actions?

DeJoy: Let him look. Remember what happened to a bunch of IG’s who decided they wanted to look in things?

Reporter: What are you saying?

DeJoy: Just saying, curiosity killed the cat.

Reporter: One more question.

DeJoy: Shoot.

Reporter: How come absentee ballots are okay, but no mail-in voting? After all, they are both done by mail?

DeJoy: Well that’s simple. Absent voting means someone can’t get to the state they are in to vote. They are overseas, living elsewhere. Like the president. He has an absentee ballot to vote in Florida. Mail-in voting is because you are scared of dying from the coronavirus so you are afraid to go to the polls. Make sense?

Let me share a little secret with you off the record. The president knows his chances of winning are dwindling so the pandemic is his best friend. The worse it gets, the fewer people will show up to the polls, and if I just do my job protecting the country from fraud then we get four more years.

Reporter: Wow, now that’s one morbidly clever strategy.

DeJoy: Brilliant, don’t you think?

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