Let’s start with WTF happened this week. Which one of the items below raised your blood pressure?
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- The Don commuted the sentence of low life Roger Stone, a known conspirator in Russia’s interference in our 2016 election, who lied to protect The Don.
- William, Lower the Barr, replaced the head of the Eastern District of New York (he offered him a job he couldn’t refuse), an agency potentially investigating The Don and his entourage’s malfeasance and criminal activity. With him gone, Barr has succeeded in neutering the three offices (D.C. and the Southern District of NY are the other two) with the most clout to damage the president and his flunkies.
- The Don threatened to withhold federal funding from cities whose public schools remain closed because of the pandemic?
- Finding out that Dr. Fauci has not met with The Don since June 2nd?
- Tucker Carlson calling Senator Tammy Duckworth, a purple heart recipient ( who lost both legs in a helicopter combat mission), a “coward,” a “moron” and “a fraud” and stating that “she hates our country”?
- The administration declaring that international students would have to leave the country if their university only offered online courses during the pandemic?
If your answer is all of the above, please check your blood pressure. And we haven’t even mentioned the fact that while The Don continues to expound on how great we are doing with the pandemic, the number of daily cases reached 70,000 and counting; no doubt, that by the time I write my next piece, it will reach 100,000.
Doctors and health officials are begging people to wear masks and social distance; they beg the president to wear a mask to set an example as this will save lives, but all in vain.* His vanity won’t allow it, his lack of empathy portrays his callousness to the rising death count, and his inability to reverse course and admit he has faltered is not possible because of his deep and malignant psychopathology.
And while all this is happening, The Don is whining, playing his role of the aggrieved man. Those in the know say he is often in a foul mood. He can’t believe that all this is happening to him.
Remember Hope Hicks? Well, she is back, playing the soother in heels! Here’s an imaginary conversation:
Hicks: Oh, Donald, you are so unappreciated. I know it is so unfair what has happened. What bad luck that George Floyd came along. I just hate that girl who took that video. If she hadn’t done that, things would have been easier for you. The public would not be focused on your racism.
The Don: Some stupid cop in Minneapolis kneels on someone’s neck and now everyone is protesting.” (The Don’s actual words.) Can you believe my luck? And that stupid kid who took the video. Boy, I’d like to…
Hope: Now Donald, let’s not go there. Sometimes it is better to just think things and not say them or tweet them.
The Don: But she ruined everything. Who has time to stand there and shoot a video for 8 minutes and 46 second? Didn’t she have a job or something to go to? I told Mnuchin it was a bad idea to give that extra $600 per week-people would just not go back to work.
Hope: And what a boring video. Over eight minutes of a police officer with his knee on someone’s neck. Who thought anyone in America would be interested in that with all the good stuff on YouTube and Netflix?
The Don: And those ungrateful blacks! I have done more for them than any other president. Lowest unemployment rate ever! How could they turn on me like that?
Hope: I feel your pain Donald. Nobody appreciates you.
The Don: And this pandemic. Can you believe my luck? The greatest economy ever brought down by a fucking virus? My economy. Mine, mine, mine! You shitting me? Every day I wake up after my 3 hours of sleep and the first thing I think is this is a bad dream, that there is no virus. And for a while I believe it and then I turn on the TV and they are talking about people dying, cases skyrocketing. Why do they need to be talking about that?
Hope: It is so distressing that you hear about all the people that are dying. It ruins your day. It’s so unfair that you have to deal with that.
The Don: You understand. That’s why I brought you back, Hope.
Hope: That’s sweet of you Donald.
The Don: And the Supreme Court? Kavanaugh and Gorsuch? I made them. They are mine and they ruled against me?
Hope: Obscene. I liked what you tweeted about it.
“PROSECUTORIAL MISCONDUCT!” “POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!” “Not fair to this Presidency.” “Courts in the past have given ’broad deference’. BUT NOT ME!”
The Don: Like my reference to “broad deference”?
Hope: So utterly constitutional of you. You should definitely be “above the law.”
The Don: I am already feeling calmer.
Hope: Would you like me to bring the truckers back to the White House lawn? You so enjoyed that in April?
The Don: Absolutely! Let’s bring some people back who really appreciate me.
Hope: I have already called up some groups of Evangelicals to come visit you and they promise to pray at your feet.
The Don: Music to my ears.
Hope: And I have a special treat for you. We have some videos of you speaking in front of a hundred thousand people who are screaming your name. People may be dying; the economy may be failing and people on the streets are protesting, but people still love you Donald, so sit back and just enjoy their love. Mt. Rushmore awaits.
The Don: Hope, you give me hope.
*The Don did finally don a mask but still couldn’t admit that everyone needs to wear one. Just another photo-op, like his holding of the bible. Doubt we will be seeing him in a mask again. And he must have been so pissed that he had to do it!
OMFG TRUMP - Tales From the Other Side 