The Tale of Two Viruses: Part 9


So much for American exceptionalism- which, by the way, was already highly overrated. So much for “Making America Great Again.”

The Don’s severe pathology is wreaking havoc. The man who alone can fix it is bringing America to its knees.

The incompetence tolerated by the Republican lawmakers has come home to roost; their sick desire for power trumps (pun intended!) any sense of humanity. The body count grows and their silence makes them complicit in the death of thousands. They watch the press conferences: they see the complete lack of empathy; they see the delusional forays into false and dangerous magical remedies; they see a man with no idea what he is doing; they see a man who doesn’t believe that scientists matter; they see a man who doesn’t have a plan and whose grandiosity renders him incapable of letting others take the lead.

Every day, the pandemic rages on, killing two thousand Americans a day. When the history of this is written, it will show that a majority of the deaths could have been prevented.

Dominique Moïsi, a political scientist and senior advisor at the Institut Montaigne, a think-tank in Paris put it bluntly “America has not done badly — it has done exceptionally badly,”

Trump’s ‘America First’ policy has alienated allies and made countries rethink their relationship with the U.S. The Don sure fulfilled his promise to  “Make America Great.” We are the greatest at the number of COVID-19 cases and deaths. We have 4% of the world population and over 30% of the world’s cases! We have, in Don speak, the most bigly and huge-iest pandemic of anywhere.

In this week of “Survivor” we heard from self- proclaimed “Grim Reaper,” Mitch McConnell, regarding his concern for the financial well-being of Blue states when the Senate, under his leadership, refused to add money to a new relief bill to aid states: “Let them declare bankruptcy.” You heard that right. Let New York go bankrupt. Who the fuck needs New York anyway? New York City is only the financial and entertainment capital of the world? Fuck New York Pizza-totally overrated! He went on to say:

“We’re not interested in solving their pension problems for them, we’re not interested in rescuing them from bad decisions they’ve made in the past. We’re not going to let them take advantage of this pandemic to solve a lot of problems that they created for themselves, and bad decisions they made in the past.”  

OMFG TRUMP - Grim Reaper Mitch McConnell.jpg

This nastiness is part of the Republican playbook. Force states to deal with their deficits by cutting essential services to the less fortunate, who just happen to be black and brown. When we need unity, McConnell and The Don sow division; when we need compassion their racist policies lead the way.

The Don and the Republicans are also working on another evil plan. The Don has already stated he wouldn’t care if the U.S. Postal Service went under; now he has stated that he would not give money earmarked for the Coronavirus crisis to postal workers.

I know he hates Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, and sees destroying the postal service as  revenge to the owner of the Washington Post, but to choose not to protect and support front line postal workers, who are out there every day putting themselves on the line? Did you know 100,000 postal workers are Veterans?

Me thinks there is even a more nefarious motivation. If the postal service doesn’t function, then there will be no one to deliver mail-in ballots in November. Think I am succumbing to conspiracy theories? Maybe, but just remember, there is nothing this man won’t do to stay in power and remain in the spotlight. The more his numbers fall, the more desperate he will get. If he doesn’t care about people dying, then there is no limit to the banality of his evil.

Carrying on his tradition of vindictiveness and revenge, Rick Bright was abruptly banished as the director of the Department of Health and Human Services’ Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, or BARDA, and removed as the deputy assistant secretary for preparedness and response.

Dr. Bright responded to his banishment by assailing the leadership at the health department, saying he was pressured to direct money toward hydroxychloroquine, one of several “potentially dangerous drugs promoted by those with political connections” and repeatedly described by the president as a potential “game changer” in the fight against the virus. Here is part of his statement:

“I believe this transfer was in response to my insistence that the government invest the billions of dollars allocated by Congress to address the Covid-19 pandemic into safe and scientifically vetted solutions, and not in drugs, vaccines and other technologies that lack scientific merit,” he said in his statement. “I am speaking out because to combat this deadly virus, science — not politics or cronyism — has to lead the way.”

 But don’t worry, as it was recently revealed that in January, Brian Harrison, whose claim to fame was running a Labradoodle dog breeding business, was chosen to lead our country’s pandemic response. There is rumor that The Don, who is normally a dog hater, thought this was a great idea because:

  1. He heard that Labradoodles are cute and make people smile so they would make Americans forget about the pandemic.
  2. Labradoodles have special tongues that can be used to tongue kiss the virus out of lungs because of their extra special powers of penetration.
  3. Viruses are bred from bats and other animals, and since Harrison was a breeder, he might have some clues about this.
  4. A force of Labradoodles could be unleashed across the nation to deliver Clorox edibles.

clorox chewables.png

And that brings us to the final scene of this week’s Survivor,” whose sponsor this week includes “Mr. Clean” and “Tide Pods.”

Standing with a cardboard cut-out of Mr. Clean and an ultra violet machine by his side at the press conference (would be darkly funny, right?), The Don brought forth his newest ideas to knock the shit out of the virus.

“Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous — whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light. “And I think you (referring to one of his cronies) said that hasn’t been checked, but we’re going to test it?” And supposing you brought the light inside the body, either through the skin or some other way.” Rumor has it that he was going to urge all Americans to spend hours at the beach soaking in the ultraviolet rays when a staffer reminded the “Very Stable Genius” that social distancing might be challenging.

He then pivoted to this:

“I see the disinfectant that knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning? Because you see it gets inside the lungs, and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that.”

An official government site tweeted out that it wasn’t cool to swallow Tide Pods.

The Don’s forays into these absurd and dangerous remedies reflect not only his ignorance, but his inability to grapple with the reality of what is happening. Rather than constructing a federal plan based on science and rationality, he looks for miracle cures. His entire life he has figured out how to manipulate reality to his favor and never paid any consequences for his many amoral and illegal actions. Most recently he was let off the hook by his fellow cult member Republicans during the impeachment trial. His delusional grandiosity leads him to see himself as the man who will come up with the thing that will fix it all. The virus doesn’t play by those rules. It is reality-on-steroids and The Don doesn’t play in the world of reality; he only plays in the world of The Don.

In The Don’s fabricated world, the post office is gone, and rather than ramping up testing we breed more Labradoodles whose task it is to deliver Tide Pods to every American. The campaign is called: “Just Wash Away Your Troubles.” After all, with all the fear and death around us, who could resist an adorable Labradoodle to wash away our troubles.?

OMFG TRUMP - Drink Bleach.jpg

One comment

  1. I am binge reading all these wonderful Trump tales. I absolutely love every single bit of it, you all are fantastic. The wit is so needed and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for combining truth, laughter, and the sheer idiocy that is Trump the stump. Thank you. Please don’t get me wrong I am so sad about what he and his soul sellers, the Republicans, are letting him do in the name of partisan politics. It is an outrage and absolutely the most pathetic disgusting display of what is supposed to be the government of the United States of America. I have lost sleep and I worry for my grandchildren that Trump is fostering evil and hatred and bigotry and racism and women hating and sexual predators and criminal activity, and his evil little friends that he has appointed to the government are right there with him doing the same exact thing. They are all guilty of murderer, crimes against humanity, criminal activity and on and on and on. It is totally incomprehensible what this subhuman has done not only to us but to the entire world. we can’t change him a sociopath narcissist very sick individual such as him does not have the capacity to change. Unlike a monkey who we can teach new tricks Trump is unfortunately unteachable. He’s never known empathy and so he has no idea what it truly means to care what is happening to people, to actually feel compassion for every single person who has faced gruesome suffering and death. He will never care he does not have the capacity to do that. The sociopath can not be shamed into caring as he doesn’t feel guilt. People think and have hope that they can shame him into coming to his senses but trust me a sick sick individual like that can never ever be changed. it’s sad but true. Maybe one of his lap dogs in the White House he has some integrity and decency left that’s all we can hope for at this point.


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