The Tale of Two Viruses: Part 6

This is OMFG’s 200th piece and I am hoping to write only 32 more. Election Day is only 32 weeks away. If we have any chance of “Making America Function Again,” The Don must be defeated resoundingly and then vanquished (and then tried and convicted for a laundry list of things!)

With Covid-19 already interfering with primaries and the rescheduling of the Democratic Convention from July to August, the challenge of a robust and fair election is threatened. It is no secret that Republicans see their path to victory in suppressing the vote. To ensure that Americans do not have to make a choice between their health and voting, a bipartisan effort to ensure that every state develops the capacity for mail-in balloting is being mounted in the Senate.

We can bet every tax-cut to the rich dollar that Republicans will do whatever they can to block this: they know that a large voter turnout favors Democrats. Let’s be real here: We live in what we like to tout as the “greatest democracy on earth,” yet one of our two political parties has been systematically blocking black and brown people from voting since the passage of the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Act in the mid-sixties.

As warped as it is to say, there are Republican’s in power who see the current pandemic as a way to consolidate power and ensure a second term for The Don. Who needs poll taxes, Voter ID registration, decreased poll sites, shortening of early voting, propaganda scare-tactics and misinformation, when you have a killer virus preventing people from going to the polls? Case in point: Despite a stay-at-home policy in Wisconsin, the Republican controlled legislature is supporting on site voting, as the low turnout enhances their chances of winning important statewide elections.

Just the other day on Fox, The Don, true to form, made it very clear what his thoughts about the pending election are:

“It shouldn’t be mail-in voting. It should be you go to a booth and you proudly display yourself,” claiming the Democrats had a plan “that if you ever agreed to it you’d never have a Republican elected in this country again.”

Yes, those evil Dems have a plan to make it easier for every American to vote. Damn fucking evil Dems!


Now on to this week’s piece.

With the prospects of 100,000 to 200,000 deaths looming from Covid-19, The Don’s daily reality show of “Survivor” rolls on.

No matter how sobering and grim the information from scientists, the federal government’s inability to mount a centralized response boggles the mind.

The U.S., under The Don, has not only become “not-great again,” but has lost credibility all over the world and in many places has become a laughing-stock. The Don’s callousness and incompetence during this pandemic is having devastating consequences that will result in the unnecessary death of tens of thousands of Americans. We’ve gone from laughing-stock to “crying-stock.”

And the lies and distortions keep on rolling.

I know I have said this before, but how is it possible that the “greatest” and most powerful country in the world is incapable of getting the necessary amount of ventilators, masks and other protective equipment to hospitals. That doctors are being forced to use the same mask over and over is abhorrent; it denigrates and threatens the very people on the front lines who are fighting this war. It’s like sending soldiers in to battle with a saber while the enemy is using machine guns.


The Don, the Survivor-in Chief had this to say about Andrew Cuomo’s plea for more ventilators. “You know what, he has a lot of ventilators.” That is then followed by some random innuendo suggesting maybe Cuomo is stockpiling them and selling them for huge profits on eBay.

What he should say is that “The government will get you as many as you need and as fast as possible.” Instead, Mr. Whiner- War Time president went to his tried and true grievance playbook.

“The problem is, with some people, no matter how much you give it’s never enough.”

No Don, the problem is that you are child trying to do an adult’s job. The problem is with you: even a killer virus ravaging our country is not enough for this to not be about you; everything is always about you and your need for attention and admiration. You are a despicable soulless man who will watch hundreds of thousands die and have no connection to the pain of it all. You are concerned about your ratings. Let me say it: You are a murderer and should be tried and convicted. You are like a parent who hears his child wailing in the next room, but is too busy preening in front of the mirror to care. Suddenly, the wailing stops and you are relieved. It stops because your child has just died.

Your narcissism knows no shame, no humanity. Who would think of saying: “Did you know I was No. 1 on Facebook? I just found out I was No. 1 on Facebook. I thought that was very nice for whatever it means.” What does it mean when someone is leading a nation through a pandemic and has time to mention his Facebook popularity? It means you are amoral. People are dying and you are promoting your “likes” on Facebook.

Despite the scientists supporting mask wearing to mitigate the spread of the virus you said you weren’t wearing one because it would be a bad look when meeting “prime ministers, dictators, kings and queens.” Not a good look, certainly not when meeting dictators! Any dictators out there planning on making a surprise visit to the White House during the pandemic? Kim Jong-un, Putin, Victor Orban, come out come out wherever you are.


The Liar-in-Chief went on to say that the government has “done a job the likes of which nobody’s seen” in delivering needed supplies quickly.

Yes, Don, you have “done a job the likes of which nobody’s seen.” The wartime president has pitted states against each other in a competitive bidding war for ventilators. To add insult to injury, the states are competing against the federal government for these same ventilators. This is what a few governors said about this sinister and sick game of ‘Survivor.”

“You now literally will have a company call you up and say, ‘Well, California just outbid you,’” Governor Cuomo said in his daily news briefing. “It’s like being on eBay with 50 other states, bidding on a ventilator…We are on our own.”

Gov. Larry Hogan of Maryland, a Republican, said that his state was “flying blind” in the fight against the Coronavirus because officials did not have enough tests. When asked during an NPR interview about President Trump’s comments suggesting that a chronic lack of test kits was no longer a problem in the United States, Mr. Hogan did not mince words: “Yeah, that’s just not true.”

Then Rear Adm. John Polowczyk, who barely two weeks ago became the head of the administration’s supply-chain task force (Doesn’t it give you comfort that  this guy has been on the job for two weeks?), defended the government’s decision to send the supplies, governors are pleading for to the private sector first. “I’m not here to disrupt a supply chain,” the admiral said. Bidding war begin! May the craftiest, or better yet- the more ruthless win.

Cut to Jared Kushner, Mr. back-channel, Mr. federal government is just a “back-up,” Mr. we-ain’t-got-your-back, the great problem solver, taking on a leadership role. Jared, who dresses for success and knows nothing, an imposter after his father-in law’s heart, has been ineffective or failed outright on the numerous missions he has been appointed  to lead. Michael Koplow of the centrist Israel Policy Forum described Kushner’s plan for the Palestinian economy as “the Monty Python version of Israeli-Palestinian peace.”


Kushner’s debut at the White House’s daily Coronavirus briefing underscored The Don’s talking points: “People who have requests for different products and supplies, a lot of them are doing it based on projections which are not the realistic projections.” In other words, don’t listen to the governors, who are listening to the doctors, who are screaming that they need more.

And then right out of the Survivor Playbook: “And the notion of the federal stockpile was, it’s supposed to be our stockpile,” said Kushner. “It’s not supposed to be the states’ stockpiles that they then use.” I thought the states were part of the United States of America?

Before ending I need to give a special shout out to Mike Lindell, the CEO of “My Pillow.” You know, the guy. The “best pillow you will ever own” guy.

For some reason, The Don thought bringing him to the podium during his pandemic briefing would be what? An antidote to the millions of Americans who were having sleepless nights? Or how about a way for The Don to make some money. The great business man called up his supporter and said “Mike, what a time for national exposure for our pillow, I mean your pillow, I mean ‘My Pillow.’ I mean people can’t sleep because of this virus thing. Me, I sleep like a baby. But you could sell a lot of pillows my man and we can share the profits. You can do your God talk about me. You know, that we are a nation that “turned its back on God,” and I that I am America’s savior. Remember how many MAGA hats we sold. Nothing compared to the sales of “Our Pillow.” The demand will be so huge I can ask General Motors, or whoever is making masks, to stop production and start making pillows. Just remember Mike: Misery is a great money maker.

America, say goodbye to sleepless nights. Just call 1-800 AMERICA!”

Good night America and sleep well.

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