The Ballad of Lev and Rudy G

The Intelligence Report is out. Since The Don doesn’t read, and needs his Intelligence reports in bullet points, pictures and with his name mentioned on every line in glowing terms, I will honor his request in a picture-book format.

  1. The beautiful Don, with a host of his cronies, told Ambassador Marie Y to take a hike because she was in the way of their shadow foreign policy.

OMFG TRUMP - Guiliani and Yovanovitch

The Don’s response to this was: “See, it says I am beautiful.”

  1. The amazing Don, told newly elected President Zelensky: Chump, you’ll never hang out with me in the White House unless you do me a favor.

OMFG TRUMP - Zelensky Phone Call.jpg

The Don’s response to this was: “See, it says I am amazing.”

  1. The favor the perfect Don asked of Zelensky was a quid pro quo: military aid for investigations in to the Bidens and Ukrainian interference in our elections.

The Don’s response to this was:” See, it says I am perfect, so that proves I made a perfect phone call.”

OMFG TRUMP - Zelensky Phone Call 2.jpg

  1. The splendid Don has obstructed the investigation at every turn.


OMFG TRUMP - Adam Schiff.jpg

The Don’s response to this was: Splendid indeed. Have you ever seen an impeachment report with so many superlatives? This is such a cool picture book. Any news about whether China is looking in to the Bidens?

And what do the Republicans have to say about this? The Ukrainians interfered in our election. What?

If you recall, Fiona Hill’s startling statement that the Republicans are perpetuating a Russian narrative about Ukraine’s meddling in our 2016 election, creating a serious national security risk for the U.S was dramatic. Hill practically begged Republican lawmakers not to traffic in this debunked Russian propaganda scheme.

What have the Republicans done:  They have outrageously doubled down on promulgating this false narrative.

The Republicans have no defense to refute the facts of what went down. They also have no defense for their moral bankruptcy. I am tired of hearing retired Republicans state that Republican lawmakers in private are all disgusted by The Don. I’ve heard two, former Senator Jeff Flake of Arizona and political strategist, Rick Wilson, say that if there was a secret vote to convict the president, 30 Republican senators would support removal from office. Profiles in the pusillanimous.

To reiterate the gravity of the Republican playbook: In order to avoid a nasty tweet from The Don, which they fear could hurt their chances for reelection, the Republican Party has decided to embrace a Russian disinformation campaign. Let’s repeat: Profiles in the pusillanimous.

OMFG TRUMP - Cowardly Lions.jpg

Some might say that to knowingly conspire to allow a foreign enemy to threaten our national security amounts to treason!

Here’s the thing: Even if Ukraine meddled in our election, how does that defense deal with The Don asking for an investigation of his political opponent? Answer: It doesn’t! I am not sure why Democrats aren’t emphasizing that point, as that makes the Ukrainian interference argument moot; bribing a foreign government in order to get dirt on a political opponent to advance your chances of being reelected is in itself grounds for impeachment.

But people, what about those phone calls? Based on the report, Rudy, the Grifter, was a real chatterbox. Rumor has it that he was an AT&T customer of the year!!

According to the report he chatted with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, the national security adviser at the time, John R. Bolton; Representative Devin Nunes, the top Republican on the Intelligence Committee itself; midlevel White House officials; the Fox News host Sean Hannity; a conservative columnist; an associate who has been charged in a scheme related to Ms. Yovanovitch’s ouster; and the owner of a mysterious number, “-1.” (We will return to -1 soon.)

The report also describes multiple calls between  Giuliani and Nunes; Giuliani and the White House (followed by one that came soon after, lasting 8 minutes and 28 seconds, with an unidentified number); Giuliani and OMB; and even a 48-second call between Giuliani and a number associated with then-national security adviser John Bolton.

And there is the love affair with Lev.

There are 16 calls, for example, between Giuliani and Parnas between April 1 and April 7 as the Trump associates worked to undermine Yovanovitch. I don’t know about you, but when two people have that many phone calls to one another in such a short period of time it does make you wonder? That kind of obsession with one another? It does make you wonder, doesn’t it. They could have just been cooking up a scheme, firming up a plan to oust Marie, but it does make you wonder?

OMFG TRUMP - Giuliani and Lev.jpg

And then there is the mysterious “-1.” This so exciting, though it definitely exhibits a complete lack of imagination. Though not proven, many think “-1” is The Don. After all, who else can it be, as everyone else in the White House has already been outed for chatting about the Ukraine.

If you recall, The Don was referred to as Co-conspirator 1 in the Michael Cohen campaign finance case. So number 1 was definitely out as an option for a secret name. So what was The Don’s thinking about referring to himself as “-1”?

Well, I am the number 1 person in the world, so 1 would be a great secret name. However, 1 is already taken because of the rat, Michael Cohen so, um? So how about I use “-1” as nobody would ever think I would use a minus to describe myself, Isn’t that clever, Rudy G?

But let’s do the math. If you add 1 and -1 you get zero. In impeachment terms that is a very good number. To be a big fat zero means you are no more!

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