The Oranges (Origins) of Many things

Let’s recap another non-stop, hurricane-like news week.

The Don threatened to shutdown the southern border and then changed his mind when someone informed him that not only would it stop all the murderers, rapists and drug dealers from coming in, but screw up trade and cost the U.S. billions of dollars. “Oops, didn’t think about that part,” he was heard to say.

He decided once again that Puerto Rico -whose people really are U.S. citizens- and who are still far from recovered from the hurricane that devastated the island, should just be grateful that the U.S. gave them anything. He was heard saying: “I gave them paper towels, what else do they want? And did you see my form on those throws, the wrist action? You know I am a great athlete; I could have been a professional in any sport!”

He decided to try to kill Obamacare again and then changed his mind when he got some blowback from his Republican cronies, who reminded him that they didn’t have a replacement plan. “That’s ridiculous,” The Don declared. “Healthcare used to be complicated, but I have looked into it and now have it mastered. I could come up with a plan in a couple of days if I wanted to, but then I would have to cancel some golf time.”

A random Chinese woman, showed up at Mar-a-Lago claiming she just wanted to swim some laps in the pool. Interestingly, she didn’t have a bathing suit, but did have a shitload of electronic equipment that either she was going to sell poolside or use to gather intelligence. The Don’s response to this potential security risk was:

“I do so love the Chinese visiting here and writing $200,000 checks to go swimming. I particularly love the Trump Swims Free (of crime) bathing suits we have designed since the Mueller report has exonerated me.”

OMFG TRUMP - trump swims free.jpg

A veteran government official, Tricia Newbold testified to the Congressional Oversight Committee that 25 individuals working in The Don’s administration were given security clearances despite the FBI and CIA’s determination that they represented security risks. Supposedly, Jared had so many red flags, they thought he was a Russian operative or was that a Saudi operative or was that a Chinese operative? Some say he was so compromised he should have been banned from D.C., let alone the White House. Instead, he is allowed to broker Israeli/Palestinian Peace. Weird, don’t you think? By the way, do you know he and his crooked father have investments in Israeli settlements? Just saying.

The Don nominated two new candidates for the Federal Reserve Board to do his bidding, despite the fact that the Fed is supposed to be an independent entity when it comes to monetary policy.

Let’s look at the two candidates.

Stephen Moore is a man with no qualifications for the job except his promise to do the bidding of The Don. He also was held in contempt of court for refusing to pay $300,000 in child support, which probably was something The Don was impressed by and influenced his decision to nominate him. Do you want a guy who has no compunction about stiffing his own children making monetary policy? If he doesn’t give a shit about his own kids, what do you think he’ll do to the country?

Herman Cain was the pizza man presidential candidate, who famously came up with his 999, economic plan. Frankly, I always thought that he was running to promote his pizza chains and that 999 was code for: You get two Pizzas with any two toppings for $9.99. I hear he is reviving that slogan as part of his pitch to congress.

OMFG TRUMP - herman cain.jpg

Then we have the Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta being grilled by a congressional committee regarding his infamous decision, while U.S. Attorney General in Florida, to allow the politically connected billionaire, Jeffrey Epstein, who was accused of serial child sex abuse and sex trafficking, to escape serious jail time. Acosta was brought in front of the committee to discuss The Labor Department’s Nearly 80% budget cut to an office fighting sex trafficking. The Don has been silent on Acosta but here is what he said about Jeffrey Epstein in 2002:

“I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with,” Trump said at the time. “It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it: Jeffrey enjoys his social life.”

OMFG TRUMP - trump and epstein.jpg

 The Don had the gall to go after Joe Biden for his interactions with women. Now that’s what they call chutzpah!

The Don’s taxes were requested form the IRS, which like perpetual care for a cemetery plot, are now on perpetual audit.

The Don referred to Adam Schiff as “pencil neck”. Anyone know what this is about? Are we talking #2 pencil, mechanical, or what?

The House Judiciary Committee voted to subpoena William Lower the Barr to release the unredacted Mueller report.

To add more fuel to the fire for the Democrats, the prosecutors from the previously leak proof investigation got pissed that Barr misrepresented two years of their work.

Of course, The Don and his loyalist Barr are refusing to be transparent. And now that The Don, in his mind, has been exonerated, he just wants to talk about oranges-you know, the oranges of the report, how it was oranginally started.

The orange man wants to talk about oranges.

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