The Barr Gets Even Lower

I like to think of Robert Mueller as Moses during the time he received the Ten Commandments from God. And these days, with The Don sanctioning Israel’s annexation of the Golan Heights, and all the holier than though gibberish about Republicans being the real Jew lovers and Democrats the Jew haters, it seems timely. And Passover is just around the corner. Don’t you just love the way things come together?

If you recall, the Jews were wandering in the dessert for quite a while and getting pretty restless. Many amongst them were skeptical of Moses and the more they wandered in the wilderness, the more their discontent grew. Those who were believers in Moses needed a sign that would reassure them that the things they stood for were worth fighting for; and they were confident, that when Moses came down from the mountain, he would deliver clarity and set things straight.

So when Moses finally appeared inspired from his face time with Yaweh, they all waited with baited breath for his revelations. But before he unveiled God’s words, he consulted with one of his great doubters and asked him to deliver the news, thinking that coming from an adversary would quell the naysayers.

Turned out to be a mistake, a very big mistake, as this adversary and believer in false idols, decided to take it upon his self to reinterpret God’s words.

What he shared was:

“This God of ours has said: ‘Thou shall not’ 10 times, but said nothing more. There is no clarity in his vision or words, so all this waiting and wandering in the wilderness bears no fruit. What a waste. We have all been duped!”

The believers screamed foul and demanded to see the tablet; the naysayers feeling emboldened, danced and celebrated decrying the uselessness of Moses. Before Moses could get his hands on the tablet, the naysayer smashed it to pieces. “Too heavy to carry through the wilderness,” he said, as Moses looked on with outrage and astonishment.

OMFG TRUMP - barr shredding mueller report

After 22 months, 2800 subpoenas and enough witnesses to fill Yankee stadium, Robert Mueller delivered his tablet and William Barr, a known naysayer of his investigation said: “yeah, there are some ‘Thou shall nots’ in the tablet, but meh?”

Yes, Mueller did conclude that The Don and his campaign did not commit a crime in their interactions with Russia. My question is what are the criteria for the crime of collusion? Will somebody please explain this to the American people?

Having over a hundred separate contacts with Russians during the campaign is not enough?

Having a secret meeting with in Trump Tower where Jared, Don Jr. and Paul Manafort met with Russians to get “dirt” on Hillary Clinton is not enough?

Manafort’s handing internal polling data to a Russian operative Konstantin Kilimnik is not enough?

OMFG TRUMP - Mueller Files.jpg
“Trump says ‘Go for it’!”

Changing the Republican platform regarding the U.S’s protection of Ukraine is not enough?

How about the indictment of all those Russians who worked to influence the election in support of The Don, not enough?

Having Jared Kushner try to create a secret back channel to communicate with Russia is not enough?

The Don lying about when he discontinued talks with Russia regarding building a Trump Tower there is not enough?

Mike Flynn’s involvement with Russia and attempt to ease sanctions on Russia is not enough?

Roger Stone’s coordination with Julian Assange and Wiki Leaks is not enough?

How about the fact that all The Don has been doing to obstruct justice and the Mueller investigation? I mean if you are innocent why work so hard to invalidate it?

How about all these put together? Not enough?

The only way I can make sense of any of it is that the bar for all the above to be “criminal” must be very high. Perhaps it is the difference between a well planned out bank robbery and being told there will be a bank robbery and showing up thinking “hey, maybe I should take some of this money, too.”

The appointment of William Barr as Attorney General has given The Don his Roy Cohen: someone who will do his bidding to protect him. No more Jeff Sessions (remember him?) who, despite what you think of him, did the ethical thing by deciding to recuse himself from the Russia investigation.

Last year Barr wrote a memo calling Mueller’s obstruction investigation “grossly irresponsible” and “fatally misconceived,” which is surely why Trump appointed him in the first place.

In unprecedented fashion, Barr has taken it upon himself to control the narrative of Mueller’s painstaking work. Barr has lowered the bar when it comes to an Attorney General remaining independent of the President. If he keeps it up he should be brought up on obstruction of justice charges and be removed from the bar association.

As far The Don, he was crowing from the oval office, singing the song of vindication and laughably praising Mueller, the man he vigorously maligned.

But rather than take his victory lap (that is not really a victory lap) he decided to do what he loves most: attack his enemies.

“There are a lot of people out there that have done some very, very evil things, very bad things, I would say some treasonous things against our country,” Mr. Trump told reporters at the White House. “I’ve been looking at them for a long time,” he added, “and I’m saying why haven’t they been looked at? They lied to Congress, many of them, you know who they are. They’ve done so many evil things.”

Steve Bannon, his former chief strategist, predicted that Mr. Trump “is going to go full animal,” “come off the chains” and “bludgeon” his opposition. When I heard that all I kept thinking was: what kind of animal, Steve, please tell us what kind of animal.” Then I thought, I got it: what about a pathological lyin’ Cheetah.


Then true to his unconscionable self, Devin Nunes, a devoted Trump lackey, and by the way, in my mind, an obstructer of justice, called for the report to be ‘burned.” After all, according to The Don and his sycophantic coterie: justice served is justice burned!

And to that I say, thank God for Adam Schiff and Jerold Nadler. Also, a shout out to the Southern District of New York, New York State Attorney General, Leticia James, who will hopefully bring The Don to his knees so he can’t lower the bar anymore!



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