In the Don’s newest reality TV Show “Gut vs Brain,” coming soon to Fox, The Don puts his gut up against anyone with a brain and wins handedly. Rumor has it that his first contestant will be the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. I know what you are thinking-that’s its rigged-but the Scarecrow has some tricks up those stuffed arms, so hedge your bets.
The idea for the show grew out of a recent statement The Don made during one of his free wheeling interviews:
“I’m doing deals and I’m not being accommodated by the Fed. They’re making a mistake because I have a gut and my gut tells me more sometimes than anybody else’s brain can ever tell me.”
The format of the show is simple: Experts in different fields, supporting documents in tow, make their case and The Don, surrounded by female models (“I need them to stimulate my gut,” he explained), rejects their position. The models cross the stage carrying placards with the following options and the crowd tweets their answers.
Then on cue they chant: “Gut Beats the Brain! Gut beats the brain! The man has guts!” Raucous applause follow and the contestant is booed off stage.
A leaked preview of the first episode includes conversations about Climate Change, the involvement of the Crown Prince, MBS, in the murder of Jamal Khashoggi and of course Russia. The Don is furious about the leaks and is asking his new Attorney General, Matt Whitaker, to look in to it. In his instructions to Whitaker he said: “I want a real investigation, not a Kavanaugh one, ok?
Here are some leaked excerpts from the exchanges from Gut vs Brain.
Scientist: “Mr. President, this document produced by a number of agencies of our government concludes that effects of Climate Change will not only have devastating effects on the environment but the economy as well.”
The Don: “Ha! First why should I believe anything that comes from our government? It is filled with people not loyal to me…a lot of low-IQ people.”
“My gut tells me this is all a hoax, a ploy to stop people like me from making money, which frankly, is totally unfair. And third the idea, that this will affect the economy is total hogwash. I am in charge of the economy and it is great as long as the idiot who runs the Fed does what I say.”
(The Don turns to the crowd as the models walk by with their placards and says)
The Don: “So my people, what’s your verdict?”
Audience: “Low IQ! Low IQ! Low IQ! Gut beats brain, gut beats brain and Trump has guts!”
The Khashoggi Murder
Gina Haspel, Director of the C.I.A: “I have the tape Mr. President, would you like to hear it? I believe it provides very strong evidence of the Crown Prince’s involvement in the death of Jamal Khashoggi.”
The Don: “Why would I want to listen to a tape with yelling and screaming in it? As Bolton said, they are speaking Arabic. I can barely speak English.”
Haskell: “We could get a translator for you. And you will understand a lot with out a translator as screaming is pretty much the same in Arabic as it is in English.”
The Don: “Hmm. You make a point. But how do I know some actors weren’t hired to make the tape.”
Haskell: “We are the C.I.A. We don’t do things like that.”
The Don: “Ha! That’s your job. You make up stuff all the time. You kill people, too. Also, Jarod is in tight with MBS and he has some important stuff going on and MBS would never lie to him. ”
The Don: “So audience what do we say?”
Audience: “Liar! Liar! Liar! Gut beat brain. Gut beats brain. Trump has guts!”
The Russia Thing
Journalist: “You still refer to Mueller’s investigation as a hoax and witch hunt and deny you had anything to do with Russia’s interference in our election in 2016. To quote you: no collusion, no collusion, no collusion!”
The Don: “First of all, despite things I have said that might lead you to believe I accept that Russia interfered in our election, I am still convinced that there is a 400 lb. guy on his bed, stuffing his face with Doritos who is really responsible.”
Journalist: “Let me quote something you have said:”
“Russia has never tried to use leverage over me. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA — NO DEALS, NO LOANS, NO NOTHING!”
“Do you stand by this despite recent revelations from Michael Cohen’s testimony regarding your pursuit of a TRUMP TOWER deal as late as June 2016?”
The Don: “You fake news people are really something, aren’t you? Am I not a business man?”
Journalist: “You are also the president of the US.”
The Don: “As I said, I am a businessman. Can you think of anything that gives more fame to your brand than being the president? So I had an idea, a small one, not a huge one, like many of my ideas, to do a little business in Russia. Kinda cool, isn’t it. Have your name at the top of a Tower in Russia or in Saudi Arabia? You wouldn’t want that? Everyday the people of Moscow go outside they see your name. Don’t you think this is great diplomacy for our two countries? But there was no deal, no loans, no nothing. So stop reporting your Fake News. So what say you my MAGA maniacs?”
Audience: “FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! Gut beats the brain! Gut beats the brain! Trump has guts!”
Gut vs Brain isn’t the only new show coming to town. Rumor has it, that Robert Mueller is working on his own show called: Gut Punch or How I Gut Ya.
This show is featured on Court TV. Sneak previews from this show are creating quite a buzz. People are just squealing over how it opens.
The trailer shows:
Body blows by Mueller to Manafort who, instead of having a more lenient sentence for his cooperation, will have Mueller throw the book at him for lying again, despite pretending to cooperate.
Blows to Manafort’s lawyers for leaking information to The Don’s lawyers.
A gut punch to The Don for overplaying his hand, as now Mueller may now be able to delve into the Trump lawyers’ conversations with Mr. Manafort’s lawyers.
Gut punches to Jerome Corsi and Roger Stone for their email correspondence over the release of the Clinton emails and association with Wikileaks.
And an extra sucker punch for Cosi , a man who can go toe to toe on lying with The Don, and spun the tale that he knew it was John Pedesta’s emails that were going to be released, because he is prescient or better yet trusts his gut on these kind of things.
Future shows should prove very interesting. Up next:
Daniel Weisselberg, the Don’s long time CFO, Don Jr., Ivanaka and Jared.
One thing is for sure, as far as ratings go both shows will be off the charts. The other thing for sure is that Mueller has the guts to take on the “gut” and the brain to beat it.