Raking In Pleasure (Oops, I Mean Paradise.)

What does The Don’s visit to the devastating fires in California and his denial of the Saudi Arabian Crown Prince’s involvement in the murder of Jamal Khashoggi have to do with each other? It can be summed up in one word: Raking. In California, there is raking the leaves and in Saudi Arabia there is raking in the money.

The Don’s first response to the California fires was to blame the forestry department. In other words, “Smokey the Bear”, you are a low I.Q. loser.”

OMFG TRUMP - Smokey

Then the Don visited the devastation and proclaimed: “Wow, this is a really, really, really big fire. Greatest fire any president has ever seen. Makes sense that the greatest president gets the greatest fire, right? And can you believe this town called Pleasure was pretty much wiped out? Can you believe it? It’s called Pleasure…Oh I mean Paradise. It’s called Paradise. Total irony, don’t you think?”

Then he went on to wax idiotically:

“You look at other countries where they do it differently and it’s a whole different story. I was with the President of Finland and he said we are a forest nation. He called it a forest nation,” Trump told reporters.

“And they spend a lot of time on raking and cleaning and doing things, and they don’t have any problem.”

When asked the potential impact of Climate Change on the increase of devastating fires, he responded in Donian fashion saying he was going to bring “great climate change” as only he could fix it!

When the Finnish president commented that he never mentioned raking in his conversation with The Don, I couldn’t help thinking: who the hell (the opposite of Paradise?) would fabricate a story about raking?

Then I thought that maybe The Don has a trick up his sleeve? Maybe he was going to create jobs, that this was his new infrastructure program. We would use American steel to build American rakes and we would wipe out forest fires everywhere and show everyone that Climate Change is a hoax; that all you need is a million or so good rakers. Maybe he could solve the immigration problem as well by handing out rakes at the border and take a page out of post Civil War policy by creating a “40 acres and a mule”* for asylum seekers called: “10,000 leaves and a rake.” Hey, why not dream big?

OMFG TRUMP - MAKA.jpg

Now that we have solved forest fires through raking, it is time to pivot our attention to the raking going on between the Don and Saudi Arabia.

Despite conclusive evidence by the C.I.A. that the Crown Prince, aka, MBS, was intimately involved in the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, The Don wasn’t buying it. His claims that SBM adamantly denied it seems eerily similar to The Don’s vociferous defense of Putin claiming he had nothing to do with the interference of the U.S. election in 2016. In each case, The Don has chosen to defend foreign leaders over his own intelligence agencies findings. Disconcerting to say the least, but driving these denials in both cases is one thing: unsavory business dealings and greenbacks (and I don’t mean leaves!)

Here’s what Don Jr. had to say about the family’s dealings with Russia in 2008.

“In terms of high-end product influx into the U.S., Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets; say in Dubai, and certainly with our project in SoHo and anywhere in New York. We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia.”

The Don’s denial of his financial dealings with Saudi Arabia, are laughable.

During his presidential campaign he said: “Saudi Arabia, I get along with all of them,” he said. “They buy apartments from me. They spend $40 million, $50 million. Am I supposed to dislike them? I like them very much.”

A little history of his raking it in is in order.

In the 1990s, as The Don’s business empire was stumbling, he secured cash infusions from deals with Saudi officials. He sold a yacht for $20 million to Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal.

He sold a stake in the Plaza Hotel to the prince a few years later. In 2001, he sold a floor of Trump World Tower, near the United Nations in New York, to the Saudi government for $4.5 million.

The prince also came to The Don’s rescue, joining other investors in a $325 million deal for Mr. Trump’s money-losing Plaza Hotel.

In 2001, Mr. Trump sold the entire 45th floor of the Trump World Tower across from the U.N. in New York for $12 million, the biggest purchase in that building to that point. The buyer: The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

It was also reported that The Don’s company was apparently working on a potential hotel deal in the country’s second-largest city even as the 2016 presidential campaign moved forward.

OMFG TRUMP - MBS.jpg
“If you spill the beans on me, I’ll let you go bankrupt.”

The Don’s disclaimer of the Saudi Prince’s involvement in K’s murder is similar to his denial of Climate Change. His claim that he is putting America first because of all the billions of dollars and millions of jobs Saudi Arabia is contributing to the U.S is a bunch of malarkey, as is his claim, that deregulating environmental protections, will allow businesses to thrive, create more jobs and make America great again.

The only thing The Don believes in is making more and more money. That is the only thing that is of value to him. If you don’t believe he is profiting from his anti-environment policies and his relationship with Saudi Arabia, I have a million rakes to sell you!

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