Beautiful Minds

Despite the medias attempt to hype the intrigue, Lebron James’s Decision to take his talents to the Los Angeles Lakers was pretty much a slam- dunk. I know fans of Cleveland feel betrayed and sad and Hollywood is ecstatic to get King James, but let’s put it in perspective folks: this is basketball.

The Don (a wannabe king), has his own version of the Decision and despite some intrigue over his choice to replace Anthony Kennedy, the judicial perspectives of this choice will be a slam-dunk-after all. The names on The Don ‘s short list have been furnished by the Federalist Society, a conservative organization of lawyers.

 

At stake is the 14^th amendment which guarantees equal protection under the law. Whatever Justice Kennedy’s other flaws (some of his damaging opinions include Citizens United and the recent support of The Don’s Muslim ban) he was willing to read the 14th Amendment in the way it was intended, especially in his decisions on gay rights and reproductive rights.

In 1992, he voted to protect reproductive rights to save the central holding of Roe v. Wade. As recently as 2016, Justice Kennedy sided with the court’s liberals in striking down onerous state restrictions on abortion.

He was also the court’s most consistently eloquent voice in support of the equal rights of gays and lesbians, writing every landmark opinion on the issue for 20 years.

Now that he’s gone, what will become of the amendment?

The Don has stated that the 14th Amendment is very questionable as to whether or not somebody can “come over and have a baby and immediately that baby is a citizen, O.K.?” He has stated he would get it amended out of the Constitution “in my second term.”

This is already beginning to happen with Federal judge nominees. At least half a dozen of The Don’s nominees are on record disagreeing with one of the most esteemed Supreme Court decisions of all time — Brown v. Board of Education, which outlawed racial segregation in public schools and remains the most powerful decision of the 14th Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause in the court’s history.

In his typical hyperbolic fashion The Don promoted his candidates as ‘outstanding people’. “They are really incredible people in so many different ways — academically, and every other way.” He also stated he had “ a very deep conversation” with Kennedy.

Deep conversation? The Don and deep conversation could be the definition of oxymoron in Webster’s dictionary. And then there is just the moron part, which former Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, used to define The Don.

And what the hell does “incredible in every other way” even mean? Sounds like Mary Poppins when she says she is “practically perfect in every way.” Can you be a bit more specific?

Here’s what The Don might have said if directly asked that question.

“You are just so annoying with your questions. Why are people so concerned about specifics? People need to trust me. I have the greatest instincts. Look what I did in North Korea. There is no more threat of nuclear war. If I can do that in one meeting, the Supreme Court justice thing is a slam-dunk. I am going to win the trade wars as they are so easy to win. You want specifics ask the Federalist Society as they gave me all the names and these are all the best people who will make sure Roe vs Wade will be overturned.

Of course I won’t ask them this. I don’t need to as they have all sworn their allegiance to the cause. Do you think I am dumb enough to ask them? I am way too smart for that. But we do have a back-channel winking system set-up. It’s kinda cool. It’s like a Morse code but with the eyes. Long blink, short blink, long blink means yes. As I said, it is very cool. But if you want more specifics they are the greatest and the most bigliest judges and most importantly, they all have beautiful minds. Oh yeah, and you can’t believe how great they think I am. They used words like brilliant, the greatest president ever and a true visionary. A few even got down on their knees to show their loyalty. I particularly liked it when the two female judges did that, especially that Amy Coney Barrett and she is such a good Catholic girl. But I was very careful because of that Me Too thing.

Of course I didn’t ask them (just like I never asked lying slimy James Comey) whether they would allow me to be subpoenaed by witch hunt man Mueller. That would be so stupid and the judges I am interviewing all told me I have a beautiful mind, well, brilliant is more like it, but beautiful is ok and that means I would never ask them if they would be loyal to me. Never. Only a moron would do that!

How’s that for specifics! And as for my deep conversation with Justice Kennedy: trust me it was very deep. It was so deep, deeper than you can imagine. It was probably the deepest conversation anyone has ever had. I also thanked him for his son lending me all that money while he was at Deutsche bank. He really got me out of some jams.

Anyway, this whole battle over approval of my nominees is so ridiculous and tiring. I am the president and I should have the people I want to be judges.

I have been watching what has been going on in Poland and I am very impressed. The president there is very strong, like Putin and Kim Jong-un. He is asserting his power to select judges. Judges who have spoken out against the changes have reported being harassed and intimidated. There is nothing more fun than harassing and intimidating someone; it is even better than deep conversations!

The party in control is called the Law and Justice party and you know how I feel about law and order. I could use that. After all, there is no more Republican party-to quote John Boehner, there is “just the party of Trump.”

The Law and Order party has been working to take over the judiciary. They have created new rules lowering the mandatory retirement age for judges to 65 from 70, which could force out up to 27 of the 72 Supreme Court justices. They also are calling for disciplinary chamber to be established, which can go after judges that don’t step in line. Now that’s my kind of judicial system. That would really Make America Great!