Stop and Frisk For The Fixer and Co.

America was “attacked.”
At least that was what The Don lamented after he heard about the FBI raid on his beloved lawyer, Michael Cohen’s, office and residences. Cohen, aka, “The Fixer,” originally thought the FBI was coming for his new dining set, the one that was recommended by Ben Carson. He couldn’t believe it as he had barely taken the plastic off the seats. Carson had told him: “You feel like a king when you are eating.” I don’t know why, but I suddenly find myself wondering whether the food has gotten any better in prison these days. Have they gone farm to table?

OMFG TRUMP - Cohen and FBI
No, not my table, too!”

In the dark arts of The Don, his ability to take whatever he has done and blame someone else for the very things he is guilty of is one of his special gifts.

The real attack on America has come from the Russians interfering in our elections. The real attack on America comes from the man in the oval office, who has attacked much of what America stands for- freedom of the press, the judicial system, the father of a gold -star family, immigrants and the F.B.I. went to town yesterday. *

The law and order president found it disgraceful that our law enforcement team was doing what it is supposed to do: make sure people who break the law get what’s coming to them, make sure the bad guys get their comeuppance. And Cohen is one bad hombre. Speaking of hombres, I can’t understand why the National Guard did not participate in the raid. After all, they are on standby, ready to protect our nation. Rumor has it that a guardsman in New York was overheard saying: Why do we have to go all the way down there when we have someone so close to home who has done more illegal things than anyone trying to enter our country?

Obtaining a warrant to go to Cohen’s home and seize his electronics and files required a high bar of compelling evidence. Seems they are looking in to some shady stuff: bank fraud, wire fraud and campaign finance violations regarding the payment to Stormy Daniels. Me thinks that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Cohen has been The Don’s “fixer” for years. His job was to run interference for him and use any means necessary to protect him. Can’t you just imagine The Don, after being caught up in one of his many unsavory deals turning to Cohen and in his best imitation of Don Corleone say: Hey Mikey, you need to make this thing go away. Whatever it takes, ok Mikey?

In private, Mr. Cohen has compared himself to Tom Hagen, the smooth consigliere to the mafia family in the movie “The Godfather.”  Anybody out there have a horse missing its head?

Though Mueller didn’t order the raid himself, he was the one, with the approval of Rosenstein, who referred it to the Southern District of New York. The raid on Cohen had all the drama of a Scorsese film. Who says Mueller is boring? Actually, this was just the last in the line of “stop and frisk” maneuvers that have continued to surprise. Frankly, it’s about time that a bunch of sleazy white guys were treated the way blacks are everyday.

It all started with Paul Manafort. How cute. He and his wife all cozy in their pajamas, when suddenly there was a knock on the bedroom window:

Hey Paulie, are you decent? Good, because we have a warrant to take all your shit. You good with that? You’re not going to try any fancy stuff and make me take out my weapon, are you?

Manafort responded: You’re wasting your time. I am completely innocent, so take it all. But please don’t take the signed photo of me and Victor; it is an important memento of such special times.

OMFG TRUMP - Manafort and Viktor.jpg
“We really kicked some butt, didn’t we? We made Putin proud.”

Then there was George Papadopolous who was met coming off a plane in Washington and had to immediately surrender his electronics. His response was: Shit, I should’ve taken the Australian diplomat up on his invitation to move down under as that would have been a much better version of being brought down and put under investigation.

George Nader, who had forged close ties to the Emirates, was also stopped and questioned by the FBI at Dulles International Airport in January as he returned from an overseas trip.

Nader attended a December 2016 meeting in New York between Emirati officials and members of Trump’s inner circle, and another in January 2017 in the Seychelles islands between the Emiratis and Erik Prince, a Trump associate. Nader was also in the Seychelles when Prince met with a Russian banker-you know the meeting where Prince states he was just walking down the street in the Seychelles looking for a Starbucks and, lo and behold, he ran in to a Russian banker.

It is worth noting that Nader in 1991 was convicted for being caught returning from Germany with videotapes in his luggage “depicting minors engaged in sexually explicit conduct.” Just no escaping sex scandals in this administration!

In February, federal agents working for Mr. Mueller stopped Joel Zamel, an Australian entrepreneur, at Reagan National Airport outside Washington and briefly seized his electronic devices. What a coincidence: Zamel knows George Nader and has had contacts with the Emirates ruler since at least 2014.

Mr. Zamel later appeared before a grand jury and was questioned about Mr. Nader, though it was unclear whether Mr. Zamel had any information about Mr. Nader’s ties to Russia.

Ted Malloch, a self-described informal Trump campaign adviser was recently stopped when returning from an international trip by FBI agents who took his cellphone and questioned him about Republican political operative Roger Stone and WikiLeaks. Malloch is scheduled to appear before Mueller’s Grand Jury on April 13.

Mueller’s team has recently questioned three Russian oligarchs who traveled into the US, stopping at least one and searching his electronic devices when his private jet landed at a New York area airport. All three were who were questioned have one thing in common: Investigators are asking whether wealthy Russians illegally funneled cash donations directly or indirectly into Donald Trump’s presidential campaign and inauguration.

So Mueller and his team have been putting in a lot of time at airports and getting people to spill the beans. But the airport moment I am waiting for is when The Don is impeached and has to get on the helicopter a’la Nixon, never to be seen again in Washington. Suddenly, I find myself again wondering if the food in prison has gotten any better.

 

* The Don’s response to the attack on America on 9/11 was classic Trumpian narcissism. Referring to his 71-story building blocks away from the collapsed twin towers, he actually said: “actually it was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually, before the World Trade Center, was the tallest—and then, when they built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second-tallest. And now it’s the tallest.”

 

 

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