Pap Goes The Weasel

When I was a child I loved to play with Jack-in-the Box. You know, the toy where you turned a handle as fast as you can to the tune of “Pop Goes the Weasel” until the top of the box released and some character popped out. Mesmerized by the process and giggling to my hearts content, I wanted to do it over and over and over. (Self-disclosure: I still have an old vintage one with a Snoopy inside and every once in a while, when no one is looking, I thrill myself with a rendition of “Pop Goes the Weasel” and suddenly I am six years old again!)

Up and down the city road

A monkey spied a weasel

The monkey thought twas on the run

Pap, goes the weasel!

 I never knew what the lyrics meant, but in the era of The Don, it finally makes sense, well, at least the “Pop Goes the Weasel” part. Pap (adopoulos) is such a weasel for spilling the beans to Robert Mueller. What an ingrate!

Speaking of things that enriched our childhoods, how fitting is it that a Sesame Street stalwart, Snuffaluffagus, oops, I mean Papadopoulos, a light level coffee boy, whose extensive foreign policy experience resume features a stint on his high school’s Model U.N. program, could be the beginning of the end for The Don and his thug regime. The level of incompetence of those hired by the Don’s team has always been astonishing. (Just think Rick Perry ,who didn’t even know the function of the agency he was appointed to run!)

Back in those heady days of The Don’s campaign, when asked who he was thinking of bringing on as part of his national security team, (any respectable person had already run for the hills!) he prefaced his response, as always, with some very, very, very, great people, umm, like Carter Page and George Popadopoulos, a dynamic duo with no national security experience. Page, too, has become a weasel and spilled some beans in testimony. I am expecting the headlines of the New York Post to read:

If I was advising The Don, and interested in Sesame Street characters, I would definitely have recruited Ms. Piggy. (See my piece “Pigs Are Smarter Than You Think.”) Burt and Ernie would have been top notch as well, as you get two for one and they would have been role models for how humans should get along. And what international cred do they have to match Pop’s Model U.N.chops? Duh, they were on TV all over the world. If they showed up in Russia, even Putin would recognize them and think they were very cute. And we all know that cute goes a long way toward building international relations.

Big Bird in China and Big Bird in Japan, two TV specials, also lend gravitas to our yellow -feathered friend and make her a real contender.

Speaking of Russia, Sarah Palin probably was a better choice then the Pop as she could “see Russia from her house.” So many options; so many very, very, very good options!

So Robert Mueller, a real fan of Sesame Street, saw trouble with a capital T when he started checking out the Pop. His first cause for suspicion was the fact that during the Republican primary, he served on Ben Carson’s National Security and Foreign Policy Advisory Board. Comatose Ben, who’s beatific, serene smile made him seem like he was communing with Jesus on a moment to moment basis or under the influence of anti-psychotic medications, also did a stint on the model U.N. and saw Pop as a kindred spirit. He must have thought: The two of us together could change the world! If you remember Carson did not win the nomination, but he was appointed to head H.U.D. (Housing and Urban Development Agency.) His qualifications: he once lived in a house! Ben Carson meet, Rick Perry.

Mueller is bearing down and the folks in The White House are feeling the heat. You know they are in trouble because the “lock her up” chant has returned. Fox News and the right wing media are not only seeking Hillary’s blood but asking Congress to investigate every democrat since LBJ. The Don is being so chill about it all and actually tweeted that “he wasn’t angry at anyone,” though rumor has it that all the furniture in the oval office had to be replaced because he destroyed it all.

The palace intrigue gets more interesting each day and Elvis’ “Jail House Rock” is now the number one hit at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

While we visualize Paul Manafort in his orange prison jumpsuit, GEO, a private prison company that owns 140 prisons and detention centers, is moving its annual conference to Trump National Doral Golf Club in an attempt to cozy up to The Don. And surprise, surprise, GEO scored the first contract for a new immigration detention center. And surprise, surprise, The Don has rolled back Obama’s attempt to reduce the amount of private prisons.

Geo donated over 2 million dollars to support The Don over past 2 years, giving money to super PACs, the inaugural committee and other lobbying groups. “Lock her up” is music to their ears, as the more the merrier. In GEO’s case they are less concerned with Hillary (though they would be honored to build her a very special cell of her own) and more focused on locking up blacks and Latinas.

Surprise, surprise, GEO participated in the task force of The American Legislative Exchange Council which supported a bill that lengthened time in prison as well as three strike legislation.

Taking those bad hombres off the street protects America. We need to protect America from those that commit crimes, do shady things. It is capitalism at its best: The more you lock them up, the more GEO and share- holders profit. Every prison and every person in it is a money -maker.

Wouldn’t it be delicious that while GEO is holding its annual conference at The Don’s golf course that the ruthless capitalists in them realize that they have the makings of a robust prison population in their midst? That while the Executives are out cavorting with The Don on the links, someone from GEO’s prison planning design center, is roaming the property looking for the perfect place to build a prison? It would be the perfect country club prison that rich white men go to when they commit crimes. And GEO will even provide a bus from the White House. Oh, to dream.