A Senior Moment

Russia, Russia, Mother Russia. When you put the Mother in front of it, she seems so benign-the magic of Moscow’s baroque architecture  with its sherbert colored domes glowing at twilight, looking all Disney Worldish. But then you think about the pograms and there goes the cozy, mother thing. For me it is Russian Literature that makes my heart skip a beat. Dostoevsky is my favorite. With novels titled The Idiot (though Count Myshkin was anything but!) and Crime and Punishment. I think you get where I am going with this.

There have been so many “Russia moments” that I am waiting for MSNBC to ask its audience to text a specific number choosing its favorite, a la American Idol. Can’t you just see Ryan Seacrest looking at the home viewing audience saying for Manafort text 370, for Kushner 380.

Was it the firing of Jim Comey because he wouldn’t do The Don’s bidding?

Was it the White House’s spin on firing Jim Comey that was all gushy and “motherly” over Hillary’s emails?

Was it The Don’s statements about admitting he fired Comey because he had a bug up his ass about Russia?

Was it the revelation that Russian intelligence offers were trying to try to influence The Don through Flynn and Manafort?

Was it that Jeff Sessions lied about having contact with the Russians so he had to recuse himself from any investigation concerning Russia?

Is it it the newest revelations about wonder boy Jared wanting to set up private communication channels with the the Russians?


Was it the unwanted photo of The Don and his Kremlin brothers, Kislyak and Lavrov, yacking it up behind closed doors, while the Don offered up classified intel that could have put operatives in the field in harms way.

These are all good contenders, but Dan Coats, former Senator of Indiana now Director of National Intelligence (DNI), gets my vote for his 9 second pregnant pause. This occurred when  he was asked by Senator Richard Blumenthal about whether he had conferred with Mike Rogers, the Director of National Security, regarding The Don’s attempt to influence the Russia investigation, as it has been alleged that The Don had a conversation with Rogers as well. The lag time in Coat’s response gave me cause to pause and wonder if his title should be changed from DNI to DNR.

The gravity of the moment can’t be underestimated. After all, if Coats testifies that The Don asked him to stand down regarding the Russia investigation, this could be damning evidence and make a case for obstruction of justice. And if he and Rogers conferred about this and have the same story to tell then the noose just got a little tighter.

Can’t you imagine it? The Don asking The Dan to visit him at the offal office-just a chat between friends, just the two of them. The Dan felt honored. The Don, charming The Dan with tales of Mara-a-Lago’s glory and how he would hook him up with a life -time membership for a little favor. Just help out with the Russia thing. Just run some interference, that’s all. And depending on his success maybe throw in a bonus of silent partnership in the money that will be made when Russian sanctions are relieved and Tillie and his peeps at Exxon start drilling those 63 million acres.

So what was going on for Coates during those 9 seconds? Here are some possibilities of what went through his mind:

What was the question? Shit I need to remember it; If I ask them to repeat it they might think I have early stage Alzheimer’s-not look intelligent enough to be wearing a pin that says head of National Intelligence. I know, I can say I was having a senior moment. Phew!

Wait, I thought Betsey Devos was the head of Intelligence-no, no that’s education-bet she had to be pretty intelligent to get that position. Gee, wish I had gotten that one, as I wouldn’t be up here now looking like a fool. One thing is for sure, I would have been intelligent enough not to make my first commencement speech at Bethune-Cookman College where they all hate me and think I am a racist.

Why are people from Indiana called called Hoosiers? It’s such a stupid name. Well, there are some great Hoosiers: Mikie (Pence), who endearingly calls his wife mother, the great basketball coach Bobby “tantrum” Knight, whose idea of a pass is throwing a chair on to the court and of course, Dan Quayle, who was rumored to be the Vice President of the U.S. but was just really a pretty face and spent his time in office leading bingo at VFW halls around the country.

Gee, being in the spotlight is fun-I can keep the country in suspense and maybe I could get my own reality TV show?

Russia did try to influence the election. The president did ask me to use my influence to steer the investigation. Shit, I didn’t say that out loud, did I? Damn, I just bit down so hard on my jaw that I bit my mother fucking tongue!

Now that I think of it Trump would never have qualified for the job of Director of Intelligence but he can become president?

I think my make-up is dripping and I didn’t where enough deodorant. And I told the manicurist to be careful, but she cut too far in to the cuticle and I am probably going to get an infection.

Wish they had asked Mike Rogers to be up here with me as we could have held hands during the inquiry and could have been the new Bert and Ernie.


God, I wish I could tell but I can’t, well maybe I could. I don’t want to be one of those wimpy, tattletale kids that everyone hates, but maybe I would be a hero. But the president would fire me and this job is kinda cool. After all, The Director of National Intelligence serves as the head of Intelligence Community, overseeing and directing the implementation of the National Intelligence Program and acting as the principal adviser to the President, The National security Council and the Homeland Council for Intelligence.

Mr. Coates, the committee is waiting for your response

Excuse me senator, what was the question?

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