There is an old Looney Tunes cartoon called “Of Fox and Hounds” where Willouhgby the dog is tricked time and again by a fox disguised as a dog named George. Each time Willoughby asks: “Which way did he go George, which way did he go?” George gives him directions that send him over a cliff. The Don, a man who has no idea where he is going, is a great stand in for Willoughby the dog, until you remember that he is president and that his know nothing incompetence has the potential to chuck the country over cliff.
A perfect example of this was The Don’s recent response to North Korea’s president, Kim Jong-un, flipping us the bird by threatening to jerk off another nuke test. The Don announced he was sending a “very, very, very, really really, strong Armani toward North Korea to make sure that the “bad man” knew who was the sheriff in town. Unfortunately, Trump made a bigly mistake about which direction our fleet was going and as a result the North Korean president never did see The Don’s tiny middle finger retort. And we thought North Korea’s failed missile jerk was an embarrassment?
Speaking of embarrassments, I thought the White House was going to be secretive about who visited. Can’t they make up their mind about anything, decide which way they are going on this? I really did not want to know that Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock got the royal tour and engaged in loose lipped, wide ranging policy conversation. (God, I would have paid as much as one of Trump’s pay-to-play shady inauguration donors to be a fly on the wall.)
According to Nugent, The Don “gave us a wonderful tour and talked about every carpet and painting–there was a Monet.” My imagination runs wild when I think of The Don waxing poetically: “ See these carpets? They are really, really, really extraordinary, but not as nice as my gold lined ones in Trump Towers. You should see how good they look with my gold toilets. As far as Monet, Trump referred to Giverny as Germany and just loved, loved, loved the colors. In an aside, he did ask Palin why they replaced the Y in Monet for a T. She said she didn’t know about Germany but she could see Russia from her house!
Nugent claimed that conversation covered “health, fitness, food, rock n’ roll, Chuck Berry, Bo Didley, secure borders, the history the U.S., guns, bullets, bows and arrows, North Korea, Russia and more.” Nugent and Palin were so turned on by the guns, bullets, securing the border part they volunteered to set up temporary residence at the border and shoot Mexicans until the wall was built.
The visit included a snapshot of “Grizzly Mom” Palin sneering in front of the portrait of Hillary Clinton. And for the joke of the day when Palin was asked why she brought Nugent and Kid Rock she replied: “Jesus wasn’t available.” Well he was available just last week on Easter Sunday but declined the invitation because the stench of moral turpitude emanating from The White House was so potent that it would have been his kryptonite, causing him to lose the power of resurrecting.
But the highlight of the occasion must have come when according to Nugent one of the members of the group flipped the middle finger at Hillary’s portrait. Nugent stated that he “politely declined” to raise his middle finger in a toast to Hillary, that “juxtaposition said it all.” Now that is an object lesson in graciousness and civility from the man who called Obama a “mongrel”.
Trump must have found the whole thing terribly amusing, particularly the middle finger part, as he is not confused about where he is going when it comes to screwing everyone and everything that stands in his way.
*The cartoon is loosely based on John Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men”
**read my piece called “Secretary of Silence” for more on Tillerson.