Let It Leak

All this talk about leaking has me squirming. I find myself plagued by an image of millions of elderly men wetting themselves. It’s like the White House has created a national campaign for Depends. Everywhere you turn it is leak this, leak that, find the leakers, root out the leakers! Soon elderly men will be as afraid to go out of their homes as undocumented immigrants. The A.C.L.U, already overwhelmed defending the heartless and racist roundup of the undocumented, will need to beef up and create a new legal department for the elderly whose slogan will be “You can Depend on us!”

Ironically, during the campaign, The Don wafted rhapsodically about the wonders of leaks when it came to Wiki-Leaks and Hillary Clinton: so why all the handwringing about leaking now? After all, leaks are standard fare in the world of American politics. And when you really think about it, how many people can you really trust to keep a secret? If someone is telling you titillating details in confidence the desire to leak can be distracting, kind of like how antsy you get trying to hold it in knowing there isn’t a bathroom in sight. These days members of the F.B.I., staffers of the White House and maybe even some of the pets are so antsy that they are struggling to contain themselves.

The most recent breakthrough occurred after the Trump administration released a statement that claimed they would produce information that would prove (think: make-up shit!) that the 7 countries in the Non-Muslim-Muslim ban put America at risk.

So when the Office of Homeland Security produced a document that undeniably showed that none of the countries in the ban created an increased risk for terrorism, first responders from the Oval Office started running down the hallways like streakers at a sporting event screaming, “Leak! Leak Leak!”. It seems we weren’t supposed to be informed about that, as the truth is something that is in very short supply in Trump World.

The Don is furious and can’t tolerate the courts blocking him, so he called up some people and said “I don’t care how you do it, just make it add up.” These are tactics eerily reminiscent of the Bush/Cheney boys and their fictional evidence supporting the falsehood that Saddam Hussein was harboring WMDs. And we know how well that turned out: thousands of U.S. lives lost, chaos in the Middle East and an increase in Muslim animosity toward America. Trump is playing the same scary game and needs to prove there is imminent danger in admitting Muslims to justify his nefarious war against what he calls “Radical Islamic Terrorism”. In promoting Steve Bannon’s White Supremacist Christian Nationalism, The Don has paradoxically made us less safe by becoming a poster child for the recruitment of terrorists.

Did you know that the chances of being shot by a toddler are greater than the chances of dying from a terrorist attack? That dying from falling out of bed is more likely to kill you? Given the disinformation, lying and obstruction emanating from the White House, we should be thankful for all the leaking, for sadly, our democracy may Depend on it.