Searching for some love, “The Don” took his beleaguered and deflated self to Melbourne Florida where he basked in the glow of adoring followers. After calling America the enemy of the people, having his national security advisor resign in a swirl of controversy and with the drumbeat of impeachment already in the air, he desperately needed to fill up the love tank. A rally for “The Don” is like cocaine for an addict. When he is inhaling the love his invincibility is restored.
There are two trains of thought about the Rally Man-in- Chief. One is that Trump should just stay out of the White House and do rallies for the next 4 years; the other has some trusted advisors concocting an intervention that will insist he attend Rallies Anonymous, as they fear governance will lose favor with him.
But more worrisome is his growing infatuation with Gene Huber, the man Trump invited on stage after seeing him on TV who declared: “I’ve got a cardboard cut out of President Trump in my house and I salute that every day. I tell him, I pray for his safety today.”
Rumor has it that “The Don” was so taken with this man’s love that rather than return to Mar-a-Lago they hopped on Air Force 1 and flew to Huber’s home in West Palm. While “The Don” held court with Gene and the cut out, he sent the secret service out to get him and his two new best buds some Hardees in honor of his fallen nominee for Secretary of Labor, Andy Puzder. The threesome proceeded to gobble up their 3 Way Bacon Burger.
When “The Don” finally emerged, Gene and the cut out followed. He told the incredulous secret service team that they would be moving in to the West Wing and said: “Put them in Melania’s room as who the hell knows when and if she will ever move in. Also, get my production people on the line in China and tell them to make 4 million of these things. I was in talks with Wheaties to be the first president on the box, but that’s small stuff as we are going bigly!”
Since Gene has been in the West Wing, “The Don” has had daily briefings with him and his cardboard doppelganger. Rumor has it that during the wee hours, when he gets itchy twitter fingers, he consults his two new devotees before he pushes the send button; rumor also has it that Steve Bannon has been raging as he is feeling iced out and no longer “The Don’s” go to.
Discussions about tax reform, North Korea, protecting puppy killers from bad press and his need to prove that he won the popular vote have been on the agenda. Gene weighed in on the latter and suggested that when the 4 million cardboard Don’s are delivered, he could claim that there is really, really amazing evidence being supplied by some of the smartest people who can prove that millions were denied the right to vote because they were abducted to China before the election.
Gene had some other ideas that “The Don” just loved, loved, loved, such as selling them for $59.99 on Amazon. The hope is that people all over America will be able to have “The Don” with them at all times: single women could take him out on dates, those missing a 4th in their golf game could have him tee up, some could learn the art of the lawsuit and the cut outs could even watch over elections and make sure blacks and illegals don’t vote. Occasionally, Gene and the doppelganger disagree and to Glen’s chagrin “The Don” always sides with the cardboard and reminds Gene that he is just a silly car salesman from Florida. This cuts to the quick, but then Gene just orders up some Hardees and all is ok in the West Wing.