Who Shall Live and Who Shall Die?

From the outset “The Don” has promised to repeal Obamacare. In a search (fake one) for the most common phrases used during the campaign, “We are going to repeal Obamacare,” was third; “I am going to be the law and order president” was second; and first (drum roll please) was “We are going to build a wall and Mexico is going to pay for it.” “Huge” was the most utilized single word and even beat out the word “the,” which says a lot about how huge the usage of the word huge really was. Sadly, “Bigly” and pussy, though respectively fun and provocative, did not make the top 25.

“The Don” will be in a position to repeal Obamacare on day one of his presidency and the House has already begun the dismantling. The idea the Republicans have floated is that they will repeal the law but let it remain in effect until they can replace it with a better plan. Clearly, Obamacare is not perfect and needs some adjustments, but the solution the Republicans are offering up is akin to having a car with a bum tire, getting rid of the car and then wondering why you can’t go on your family vacation!

Hopefully, the Republicans will take out ads using the slogan “This plan will be so “bigly” successful it will be huge.” That’s probably better than “Sorry sucker, your doctor won’t be able to see you anymore.” If they go with the “bigly” thing in their promotional material, maybe “bigly” will break into the top 10 of most frequently used words. Pussy may have a chance to vault its way to the top 10 if they go with the ad being bandied about in certain right wing circles: “Don’t give up your pussy, because if you do, you are going to have to keep that baby, even if it kills you!”

OMFG TRUMP - Bigly

The thing about repealing Obamacare is that millions of people who voted for “The Don” didn’t believe he really intended to do it. More people than ever just signed up for Obamacare. Millions upon millions of people that voted for “The Don” rely on it. In fact, 12 out of 14 of the highest subscribing states to Obamacare are red states! It has been a life saver for many. And despite the fact that, for many, premiums are rising 25%, the majority of people will not be paying more because federal subsidies would increase to offset rising premiums. The number of uninsured Americans has dipped below 10%, a “huge” reduction in the uninsured. So what about all those lower economic white rural voters who voted for “The Don” and depend on Obamacare? Could be a rude awakening.

OMFG TRUMP - Voters Lose healthcare.jpg

So what will “The Don,” not known for his patience, do with the molasses-like pace of creating a replacement plan? In fact, just the other day he said it would be replaced immediately or at worst a few minutes after. Did he really mean that? How many minutes after? I need to know if I have time to walk my dog, as I don’t want to miss the announcement! The Republicans had six years to come up with a replacement plan but have not been able to do so. So what will “The Don” do?

Trumpcare, that’s what! He will take matters into his small hands and become the great healer, the savior. He will don a grand wizard’s cape (most likely he’ll skip the pointy hat as it would muss up his combover) and hold court like some evangelical faith healer bombastically declaring that only he can solve their problems.

People will line up in front of Trump Tower for miles, like people traveling to Mecca (well maybe not Mecca, perhaps more like Mickey D’s), and Americans from sea to shining sea, seeking healthcare, will be waiting for their turn to meet with the man who can free them of their maladies. One by one they will stand before him.

Supplicant 1

“Oh wonderful one.”

“Yes, I am great and how are you?”

“Not so good. I am losing my sight and I can’t get the operation I need. When I had Obamacare it would have paid for the surgery.”

“Sad, so sad. Hey, Kellyanne, do we have any seeing-eye dogs back there? And while you’re at  it, throw in a $50 gift certificate to Petco. Still got those, don’t we? Next!”

OMFG TRUMP - Seeing Eye Dog.jpg

Supplicant 2

“God bless you, anointed one.”

“God bless you too, ma’am.” What has brought you all the way from Wyoming to see me? Just love the great people of Wyoming.”

“You see sir, I have a failing liver. I was on the list for a liver transplant, but now that I don’t have Obamacare I can’t get it.”

“Sorry to hear that. Hey Kellyanne, do we have any of those gift cards for the Carnegie Deli?”

“Is the Carnegie Deli some kind of hospital, my savior?”

“Well, not exactly, but they do make a mean chopped liver. Next!”

OMFG TRUMP - Carnegie Deli.jpg

Person of color

“Good afternoon, Mr. President.”

“Kellyanne, there is a black man in my spiritual space.”

“No worries, Mr. President. In fact, we are going to have one of our photographers come in for a quick shot. Good PR.”

“Ok, but make it snappy. So, what do we have here:  a drug problem, diabetes, sickle cell anemia, a need to get rid of nappy hair?”

“Mr. Trump, do you remember me?”

“Have we met?”

“Well, I was the accountant that you used for your casino in Atlantic City.”

“That’s funny. I would never have a black accountant handling my money. The only person I want handling my money is a man wearing a yarmulke.”

“That’s exactly what you said then, and I was fired.”

“Kellyanne, where the hell is the photographer? So let me guess:  You are here because you lost your Obamacare and think that out of the goodness of my heart I should make some kind of restitution, that I owe you something?”

Well….”

“Tell you what, just so you know, I don’t apologize; I have never regretted one thing I’ve done in my entire life. But I am generous, so how about you and the Mrs. spend a couple of days down at Mar-a-Lago, all expenses paid?”

“But sir, If I don’t get the treatment I need, I could die tomorrow.”

“Sad, so sad, but at least you will die in one of my beautiful properties instead of John Lewis’ ghetto. Next!”

OMFG TRUMP - Maralago vs poverty.jpg

4 comments

  1. Here’s my problem with all of this. First let me say I voted for Hillary. Not because I like her or even think she is honest. I voted for her because she was the only adult running for President once the 400 Republicans fell away. But here is what I have learned about politics after 66 years of life in this country. IT’S ALL BULLSHIT. Case in point – If we are going to get rid of Obamacare, let’s not do so before we have a replacement in place. Any person who can tie their shoes (apologies to those who only know Velcro) would see the wisdom in this statement. But, 8 years ago, when Obamacare was introduced along strict party lines and Congress had to ratify it, the leader of the Democrats was quoted as saying “We have to pass it so we know what is in it?”!!!!!!! Hmmm. That could be a Trumpian statement. In fact, it might make the top 10 Letterman list of all time EXCEPT – it was said by a Democrat.

    Dan Quayle received more negative press for his misspelling of the word potato than Pelosi did for that comment.

    The press is thanking President Obama for 8 years with no scandals????? If the definition of a scandal is being caught with your pants down then they hit the nail on the head. I believe President Obama to be one of the most admirable human beings on the planet when it comes to how he behaves, acts and carries himself. He is a model to us all. But political scandals? IRS, Bengazi, VA, Fast and Furious, abandoning Israel in the UN? What were those?

    My point is that in todays world, we choose up sides like when we were kids playing ball. Whichever side you are on has media and teammates that are only interested in receiving information that substantiates ones beliefs and repudiates the “enemies.” I may sound cynical and that’s because I am. To listen to my liberal friends Obama was the greatest President of all time and to listen to my conservative friends, the worst. But all of them are reasonably intelligent, good parents, good spouses, excellent providers and completely deaf when it comes to understanding the other side. Why not try to understand and not judge? Nah – that’s not how the game is played.

    So now we have The Donald. A schmuck for sure and someone who will never make a speech that even remotely sounds like he is sincere – or contains three syllable words. But to listen to my liberal friends, we have just elected Adolph Hitler. This really steams me. So far we have a putz who talks about keeping Muslims out of the US until they can be properly vetted (whatever that really means), throwing illegals out of this country which is neither doable nor preferable, and building a wall to keep future illegals from coming in. On top of that, he has professed to groping women when talking in a locker room setting (as opposed to Bill Clinton who for sure did more than talk but that was okay because he was a Democrat). All of these things spewing from Trumps mouth are cause for concern, to be sure. Vigilance is needed and good old fashioned protesting is certainly on the menu. But Hitler? Not sure there wasn’t someone between Trump and Hitler that would have made the point without diminishing Hitler’s role in human evil. 50 million people or so died because of this man’s evil. My ancestors turned into lampshades because of this man. His name should never be used as a form of comparison – never.

    Anyway, the next 4 years(?) should be interesting if he manages to keep from being impeached. One good thing he brings to the table. He is the first President in my lifetime that can actually bring these two ridiculous parties together. It may be because of mutual hatred and loathing instead of admiration but the result might be the same.

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    1. Thanks Michael for responding so thoughtfully. We definitely part ways when it comes to your hopes about “The Don” as he is all about him and believes he is the savior and has his narcissism precludes him from doing anything but ensuring that he is great. This is not a man who cares one ounce about the people he purports to represent and they will soon find out. It will be so sad, so devastating but let’s hope it will be less than we imagine.

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    2. I agree with many of the points you make here Mike, but I am not so sure the parties will be coming together any time soon, they might share similar feelings but far from coming together. Secondly, yes the Hitler thingy can be a bit much for comparison at times, but if one looks at the zeitgeist of the time in which both of these leaders came to power, and how they both played that to their advantage it is hard to not think of them as similar; in addition they both gained popularity on hateful ideologies. Just like there were several problems with Hitler’s style of command revolving especially around his personality, and the depth of his knowledge (which became particularly obvious after the war, further reinforcing his persona as a megalomaniac who refused to listen to his military experts and who, as a consequence, lost the war for Germany(Thank God), so is Trump, in that he is so wrapped up in his ‘hair’ that unless people are applauding for him he won’t listen. So, yeah…he might not be ‘evil’ in a Hitler scale (well, evil doesnt have to look exactly the same as previous evils, lets just keep real here), but he seems to have similar traits, and goes about things in a similar breath…just saying

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    3. History is doomed when forgotten. Holocaust should never be forgotten but what Trump is capable of, remains to be seen!

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