Auld Lang Syne

“Happy New Year to all, including to my enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”
That was “The Don’s” stab at humility, unity and inclusiveness as we embark on the new reality show: “Pillagers of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue,” where people in government pretending to give a shit about the American people compete to see who can make the most money. Should be a real hoot!
My money is on “The Till,” a.k.a “T Rex Tillerson,” chief executive of Exxon.

Too bad Twitter isn’t limited to 25 characters, as then it would have been: “Happy New Year to all. Love!” That would have been so sweet. Love! Love! Love! But once again we are starkly reminded of our Narcissist-in-Chief’s small minded pettiness, which emanates from his inability to tolerate the fact that he is not universally adored.

But it was a swingin’ affair at Mar-a-Lago, where “The Don” served up some of his favorite foods of the people, such as Swiss chard and wild mushroom ravioli. Frankly, I was disappointed that there weren’t Velveeta and Ritz crackers.

Billionaire Trump decided to charge $500 per person for the right to enter his party, serving notice to “The Till” that “Pillagers of 1600” is on.

So what stars attended this glorious affair? When the New York Times displays a photo of the gossip columnist Fabio as one of the notables in attendance, that is something to really tell your kids about. It is true that Sly Stallone was also there promoting Rocky 10, the story of a 60-something washed up fighter miraculously becoming heavy weight champion again. And if you think that is ludicrous and a story no one would buy, then you haven’t been paying attention to who just became president!

One of the guests there likened the event at Mar-a-Lago to going to Disneyland and knowing Mickey Mouse would be there all day long. Hey, come on people, don’t forget Goofy and Dumbo. The only good thing about it being an all-day Disney affair is that when you go to theme parks, none of the characters are allowed to speak, and their costumes probably make it impossible for them to have the agility to tweet!

Then there is the optic of “The Don” greeting people while he is enthroned on a couch with gold-laced fabric. When asked what he was going to do for the working class of the country, “The Don” replied, “Let them eat Velveeta!” (I just knew there had to be Velveeta!)

And what would a New Year’s shindig be without music. They say that “The Don” likes to sit on his patio and request his favorite songs from the band.

So in the spirit of radio shows across the land that feature the top songs of the year let’s unveil “The Don’s” favorites:

Number 6: “I’m in the Money,” Gold Diggers of 1933.

“I’m in the money.
Man ain’t that funny.
I’m in the money and
you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Number 5: “My Way,” by the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra.

Number 4: “Yes I Am A Rich Man,” from Fiddler on the Roof.

Number 3: “King of the Road,” by Roger Miller.

“You lost your trailer got nothing for rent.
You ain’t got no money it got all spent.
Got no worries your without an abode.
You’re a king, though a hobo on the road!”

Number 2: “Already Climbed Every Mountain,” Rogers and Hammerstein

Number 1: “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off,” George Gershwin.

“You say no,
I say nyet.
You say Nato,
I say no no.
Nato, no no, Nato, no no
We’ll topple the whole world yet.”

Happy New Year everyone! “When old acquaintances be forgot….