OMFG, Doesn’t It Just Blow Your Mind?

So let’s talk about hair. Strange orange hair, sculpted, blow-dryed, oh how he loves his hair. “This is the Age of Aquarius, Aquarius, Aquarius.” Well, not really, but I just needed to belt out a tune, one that reminds me of a time when people took to the streets and were not accused of being paid demonstrators encouraged by the main stream media. When we fought for freedom without fear of internment.

Speaking of internment, Rose Evansky, the inventor of the blow dryer, died this week at the age of 94. A Jewish refugee from Nazi Germany, she liberated women from the prison of the head-encasing domed dryer. Vidal Sassoon even remarked that she was as good as any man as a hairstylist. Please, genuflect now!

In her work as a stylist, Rose emphasized freedom and movement in her work rather than contrived waves. She was known as someone who coiffed till she dropped. She was just a hairy kind a gal. “Aquarius, Aquarius.”

When “The Don” heard about Rose’s death he reminisced about the time Rose came to Trump Tower during the election to work on his hair. “They said she was the best, so I had my pilot fly to London and bring her to my palace, which, by the way, makes Buckingham Palace look like the South Bronx in the ’70’s. We got along ‘Bigly’, just like the time Putin and I hung out and shared some Stoli during that 60 Minutes gig. Oh, wait a second, I never met Putin; but he did call me a genius!”

We talked about her time in Germany with the Nazis, and I asked if she ever met my father, who was a truly great man, who came to America and reached gold card membership in the KKK.

But let’s get back to the hair. Believe it or not, despite her desire for freedom and movement, she fell in love with my hair. When she took out her blow dryer and blew me, it was an amazing experience. She whispered in my ear and revealed that orange was her favorite color, and that when she got back to Brexit Land she was going to urge her clients to ‘Go Orange.’ I did ask her why she wanted to free women from the bondage of the head-encasing days, as I always thought that was such a cute look, that women were so vulnerable when they were booby trapped to that thing. When I reflect on our time together, I will always fondly remember the experience as being one of the best blows I ever had. “Bigly!”